Maintaining a decent balance

Magaidi

Ladies ladies ladies...i'm calling you all out. Yes we know it's summer, the skimpy outfits are out, the thongs are out, the bikinis are out but for the love of me, please stay away from the aforementioned attire if you have body hair of any kind, folicles protruding in excess of an inch from thy well lotioned and sometimes tanned skin. I urge you please please please...kiroho safi lakini.

Last weekend the fella magaidi got a phone call around 2015 zulu from baby girl - it was ladies night out and I had been offered the very rare invitation. My first instinct is to say thanks but no thanks, but I have nothing else to do so I reluctantly oblige. The first spot we hit is an upscale lounge in downtown - problem is, they're playing latino music. One bouncer, whose dimensions were errily similar to a fortress advised of another club more to our inclination so we trot on. At the door are fine looking women, I mean jamaaz - eye candy for you right there. These women were fine, did I mention fine? Ok fine.!

We hit the club, I hate clubbing nowadays - I don't dance as well as I used to but that's OK - I don't need to. I'm not there to impress, plus i'm the one with 6 chics. Guyz-eat your hearts out! So there we go, head bobbing, bottled water in hand and the situation is getting tricky - people are wading 'pon de river, pon de bank' and 'signalling the plane', i'm at the DJ booth with DJ Ron when two chics approach and begin bumpin and grindin. I kid you not!..We get down but alas one of the chics - the one precisely cutting corners and 'rowing de boat' with as much vigor as a world class kayaker slips and falls on the ground.

I urge all human beings - male,female or otherwise - memo to you: Please don't fall on the dancefloor. It's worse when you fall and your friends are helping you get up. It's a pathetic sight. That means not only did you not fall - you fell so badly your friends have to help you get up?

Ofcourse I distort the story - the situation curved out to be that I was holding fort as tight as I could even chics were falling on the floor. They couldn't handle me but do I say? Let them believe what they want.