Tuesday, July 19, 2005

A Kenyan on Kenyans

Magaidi
I wholeheartedly support the idea of supporting (wha?)my fellow Kenyans/Africans. Afterall, if we don't look out for each other, who will? Indeed, I have found myself a nice shop where I can run to for good ol' milo, roiko,softa,blueband,close up, cussons na virago vingine vya bei nafuu. Hata yale maharagwe twayaita 'Njahi' katika lugha ya kikwetu nitayapata pale pale. Nikipata yule anayeweza kuyatengeneza vile yafaa basi mimi huyo, na kikapu changu nijijazie vile vile! Juzi pia nilimnunulia baba mdogo Tusker - lakini ole wake! Alipoiweka mdomoni hivi akawa kama ambaye amelipukiwa na bomu.

"son what is that?"
"Tusker"
"son..that is no Tusker. I have been drinking tusker since time immemorial. That is no tusker. Don't buy it again!"
"Safi"

Kenya breweries, if you're listening, someone's selling fermented urine in brown tusker bottles in the states.

I came across a Kenyan daily. Though fuzzy on the actual name, I think it went along the lines of 'The Kenyan Advancement Newspaper'. Fair enough. There were advertisements about Kenyan realtors, curios, lawyers, freight companies - I mean any Kenyan with a business was on it. I think this is a fabulous idea and I endorse it. The writing was abit mediocre, situations were overly dramatized (ahem!) - adjectives were spewn like sandwiches on local flights, not too badly though to kill the reading. I think they need an infusion of imagination into their stories but still what? still good. My problem with this paper was the caption that read:

"This newspaper is free: However we charge $15 for shipping and delivery"

Wacha mchezo bana. This is a 10 page paper, i'm paying $15 for shipping? Are you smoking maize cobs or something? There's the spirit of cooperation, helping a brutha/sista out, then there's stupidity.

8 Comments:

At 11:16 AM, Blogger nick said...

You should see kenyans at the airport as they unload some of the excess luggage-it's ALWAYS tins of ROIKO that are unleashed...and trust me they will find the space for that ROIKO!

so atleast u have a ka-shop that sells kenyan stuff substandard or not. lol

 
At 1:38 PM, Anonymous Msanii_XL said...

@magaidi yes that tusker does taste funny. though some cats i know not Kenyans will swear that is the best beer they have ever had who am I to say you are drinking 'makojo'....lol?

Nicko you don't know the half...before the roco Kenyan kiothe opened its doors this nigerian store was fleecing us left and right roiko the kasmall tin was 4.99, ketepa was 5.99,..

 
At 7:10 PM, Blogger Sunflower said...

I have laughed so much! Those people are crazy ati 15bucks! As for your shop - where are you located? Do you have one in the DC area? I give you business!

 
At 2:32 PM, Blogger Farmgal said...

fermented urine? lol

 
At 11:07 PM, Blogger akiey5 said...

What a ruse! Eti $15 shipping & handling for a 'free' paper?! Them crooks are indirectly charging for the mag. I've subscribed to XXL & Vibe for over 7yrs & the cost is only $10p/yr for 13 issues!?
Lucky you have a store near you seeling Kenyan stuff. None in my immediate area so most of my spices, tea etc are from home or from family & friends in Toronto or Europe. You can imagine how much 'smuggling' that involves!?

 
At 9:49 AM, Blogger Magaidi said...

@Nick - have to be greatful for the home stuff. It's wierdly soothing to drink Ketepa instead of this Irish stuff they have or generic coffee.

Msanii - I hear you. I went to Kenya and when I cam back was feeling homesick kidogo, decided to remind myself of the times so I bought me a few of those. I quit drinking after tasting that crap!

@sunflower - I know DC has lots of them. We even went to a joint in Baltimore called 'Charlie Brown' - shady as hell but the nyam chom and ug saved the day.

@farmgal - It's worse that that. If KBL can't get permits to market that beer as it is in Kenya - and ship this stuff? They might as well just drop it. It's killing the appeal.

@Akiey - I didn't know they have that stuff in Canada. I forsee a trip north sometime soon. That Niagara falls vaca doesn't sound too bad heading back from there too. As for the newspaper people - talk about insulting your audience.

 
At 8:59 AM, Anonymous Atoti said...

If you did not like the beer, you can settle for the Tusker Tshirts at www.kenyanmarket.com I got mine and they are pretty good. It makes the fake Tusker taste better.

 
At 1:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Magaidi,
I am moving to DC with my family. Where in DC do you advice to buy a house? I have looked at petworth, brookland, hillcrest and such. I really want adiverse area in DC. Would you please help me out. Pleeeeease pretty please.
My hubby will taste the tusker and lemmie know if you really mean it!LOL.
sheila.

 

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