DC Trip? A Bust!

Magaidi

So I left this here joint on Friday and shamelessly advertised my pending exploits and tour of Washington DC with the usual rigor, charm (or so I'm told) and excitement of a five year old with the prospects of a lollypop sometime in the near future. See now this is the problem

When you live in a huge geographical region like I do, the subtleties of small country and driving vs. flying debates are not issues to be handled lightly. Anything over 7 hours drive east west or otherwise is an automatic fly-zone for me. Granted, we arrived at the rental office pretty much on time having completed a reservation on-line. Anticipation building, we were all smiles until the clerk informed that on top of the $300 charge for the rental we needed to part with an additional $200 for surchages and other fees. I say heck!... buy me a one way ticket on the concord for that price. Needless to say, the trip has been postponed to next weekend. Baby gal took it well: I was devastated!

Yes! These situations are never planned for so the next day, you find yourself doing such curious tasks as:

1. Liquefying the extra tomatoes in your fridge just so they don't go bad.
2. Grating garlic for future use.
3. Shredding huge onions to a pulp in your blender to marinate a chicken.
4. Shredding receipts from gas stations inadvertently in your blender with the onions.


All in all, baby gal and I had a great meal. Afterwards I cut my toe nails and drunk a bottle of cheap indian beer: 'Taj Mahal'. " My frrrriend, it's the best of India you should trrrrry it" sanjay, the only propietor of an indian store on main street had told me last week when I popped in to get some of the best mango juice their is south of the north pole, his wife seconded it. It's like drinking sweetened sisal juice if you ask me.

I will also be tabling a list of 100+ things about me. It's still in the works thanks to G,Ms. K, MJY, Nick and M among many others.

In this I wish to quell the following rumors that have been spreading around:

1. I have not once ever!eaten a whole chicken by myself
2. I don't value my blender more than baby gal!..This just ain't true.

DC Or Bust

Magaidi
I'll be heading on to DC with baby gal over easter fest. Looking forward to some warm weather, nice music from the likes of DJ Amo and Banti and a generally great time. Can't wait to chew on Nyamchom at club Safari too . Wishing you all a happy and safe easter! DO NOT! drink and drive (or drink too much anywayz!) -

Almost Lost

Magaidi

I was sifting through my CD collection last night and came across some very interesting music I had almost forgotten about. The likes of 'Trisha Covington', remember 'After 7', 'Colin England', 'Shai', 'Montel Jordan', 'D'Atra Hicks', 'Peabo Bryson', 'Prince'that song 'dial my heart' Almost makes the nonsense that is now hip hop sound obsolete with all due respect to Dr. Dre and his cronies. This journey captures you, an unrelenting grip on your senses and continues on. I blow the dust off an 'Adriana Evans' CD and recapture old neo-soul sounds. Seeing as this album had been released in '97 she was definitely ahead of her time. Continue on to grab that blue shiny Maxwell'UrbanCD. I still contend that got to get to know you is one of his best songs with the album notwithstanding. I also come accross an old 7-inch Pointer sisters LP. It belonged to my mom back in the day when she used to swing and sway to the soulful sounds of Earth, Wind and Fire's let's groove tonight A Gap Bands' - greatest hit's LP alongside, don't even get me going. My cell phone rings rudely interrupting my journey into the vast abysses of timeless music - it's baby girl calling to say g'night.I acknowledge and realize that it's time to hit the sack, but I am yet to go through half the collection. There's time I say - pop that 'Sade' Cd and drift slowly into oblivion..

Lunch Theatrics!

Magaidi
Lunch time at the office can present seemingly difficult transitional moments from humdrum mornings to bleak afternoons. I tell you the consortium congregates at the kitchen microwave, which I have complained endlessly that 2 microwaves for 150 people is just plain indecent, insulting and irrational. And if the one of them breaks down, well get used to chewing your lunch cold. I know anyone who works in an office building knows about those microwaves.Some folks have this knack for boiling weeds and insects, add spices and claim to have had a meal. “Is that your broiled broccoli and sautéed onions?” one asks, “no it’s 'General Chao’s mix’ with a little curry, noodles and baked kaorifrower (cauliflower)” the shorter one with a heavy accent replies. To me it smells like something died two months ago and was fried. I tell them wake up and smell the friggin coffee gad-danit!. Each weekday I contemplate on introducing them to beef, pork, chicken or something, to break the monotony of that other nig nog they chew.

I usually make sure I wait atleast 10 minutes after these good folk have left the kitchen area mostly due to the smell they leave around that vicinity having heated their (ahem!) food. I microwave my ugali, mokimo, irio or chaps.Mostly leftovers from the attempted cooking I performed the night before. I think I’ll make a great chef once I get my own digoloz but that’s down the road. Soon after I’m done, get my can of soda and head back to my desk indulge myself in what the blogsphere has to offer.This is the part that irritates me: Now while digging into my ugali and what we like to think as sukumawiki a curious old dude passes by, smells the food approaches. “What’s that?” he ask sheepishly and without hesitation continue to answer himself, “shepherd’s pie?”

Ok...Shepherd’s pie? For crying out loud!

This is a dilemma for a miro. Should I say yes? And send him on his merry way? I mean, how many times can a falaa explain what ugali is? Ebu try explaining what mokimo is to a junguu and you get the idea. So I say

“Yes! It’s shepherd’s pie”,

“It looks different, did you make it?”

“No someone else did”

“You know I usually put….”

So the dude continues on and on about how he makes shepherd’s pie. I Couldn’t care less but I’m somehow inclined to listen, or fake attention maybe think about how crooked his nose is, or those tobacco stained teeth or the slur in his speech..(“sssshhhhheepherdssshh pie is ssshooo..ssshhhwweeet..”)
Somewhere in between my daydream he’s done and on his merry way. I figure someone on the other end has something that smells out the ordinary. Can’t I just have my ugali and eat it? In peace?

DISCLAIMER ON THE OFFICE FRIDGE

NOTICE TO ALL USERS

Please remove all food items from the
refridgerators by the end of the day Friday.

In order for this fridge to be kept clean we will ensure that no food is left within on weekends. All items not removed by Friday will be thrown out.

(and this now added by a bored soul on the office block)

- or eaten by Scott.

E-Sir Remembered

Magaidi

Here's to remembering E-Sir who passed away this day two years ago. We miss you big tyme. He was actually our neighbor at home, lived right across us.Never met a more down to earth celeb and to this day his 'Leo Ni Leo' remains the Kenyan joint of all time - well atleast for me.

Kon-Fyu-Shon!

Magaidi
I indulge myself in the intricacies of my being, my parody that I call an existence and it's quite funny I tell you.

*My favorite drink is a mixture of orange juice and pepsi. - no your eyes are fine ..you read right..a mixture of pepsi/coke/cola and orange juiceand i'm not talking those chemicals we used to drink back home akina ribena (which by the way I still thinking is a really good drink.

*My favorite color is brown, a dark shade of brown although I'm a bit torn between that and red.

* If I like a song, I can listen to it for hours on end. I mean re-wind and re-wind till I make sure i'm bored with it. Otherwise i'll wear out that repeat button on the cd player. Case in point is that song by Jua Cali -'Nakuroga', just can't get enough of it. It's hot!!!

Other Businesses

East African concert in Atlanta later this month should provide spectacular and also unspectacular insights into talent in the diaspora. I remember when Nameless was around, a Kenyan crowd was being entertained by some rap artists in Boston, I tell you these folk showed no mercy and no love at all!..It had to have had something to do with the fact that these jamaaz were running around stage waxing lyrical about 'wack emcees' and 'mamanzi' which have been used with such frequency as if we're at an end for words. If I was a rapper my moniker would be Wack Emcee. Look on the bright side, no one has high expectations, everyone mentions you in their songs and it's always easier when you've already declared you're wack.

I have also noticed that the word Kenyanese is being used with alarming regularity to replace the oft used 'Genge'.Aiii kweli this is plain retarded now.

SEMA
Mwewe is a really nice album. These people can sing! Can't wait for them to tour.

MJ Blog Meme

Magaidi

Ok Nick, here goes the MJ Meme blog. Caution though, in my opinion we will never truly know the veritable Jackson, I don't think he will ever truly find his true self. I think his definition is in his music. Having said that...here goes.

1.Best RnB song?
Have you seen my childhood
Heal the world (classic)!
One more chance
You are not alone

2.Best pop song?
Thriller! Without a doubt – that was just too original!
Bad
Smooth criminal!
Who is it
Billie jean
In the Closet..should I go on?

3.Best Rock song?
Black Or White.

4.Best Album?
Thirller
Dangerous

5.Best Dance Video?
Remember the time video with Eddy Murphy, Magic Johnson..etc..that was goood!
MTV Music awards live performance – 93!! (best ever!! Live performance by an artist. period)


6.underrated album?
Off the wall.. (no one talks about this album anymore and it had hits like Rock with you, Don’t stop till you get enough).

7.underrated collabo?
bila ideas on this one.

8.Overrated collabo?
The one with small sis. That song is overplayed and it ain’t issh!

9.Best sound
-tttrrrrraaaaa cha cha cha…x3 (In..’Do you remember the time’)

10.what about MJ u'll never forget?
Moonwalking bana..that was too smooth
Dude made women scream till they faint..wtf?(couldn’t understand the hysteria when I was a kiddo)

11.Do u think he is guilty or innocent?
Innocent. I think that prosecutor is just trying to make a name for himself.

12. did u like him better black? black-white? white?
Tell you the truth, I never really cared! The lad could’ve been purple but I’d still katika to his music.

13.his song that u cant stand?
Butterflies feat. Eve.

14.if he was to come perform in a stadium near you-would you

a) lie that u would not attend?
b) attend?
c) only attend cause u were forced to

Are you kidding me? I’d be on time like Rev. Njoka at a city council prayer meeting!! Or Martha Karua at a father WaMugunda late night meeting


15. do u think MJ is a freak or misunderstood? do u believe him in "have u seen my childhood?"
I think he’s a misunderstood freak!..People that good at what they do aren’t normal anyway.

16.are those kids fruits of his occassionally grabbed loins?

No.

Satelite - Unspectacular! - Do not be fooled.

Magaidi

These DirecTV people are working on my last nerve! There's nothing spectacular about Satelite TV, nothing! I tell ya good folks!zero! zilch! nada!I happen to live in a neighborhood akin to minsk, that has plenty snow, rain, cold weather, humidity...you know? The whole Wandimi Muchemi forecast. All I have to say is that when it snows, let's just say the only TV you'll be watching is in your imagination, better stock up on DVDs, VHS, Music and all that makes your bored self merry again. Needless to say a relentless barrage of snow, freezing rain (yeah..it's like melting ice raining), rain and snowstorms has hit my neighborhood digoloz so I haven't had a signal in like ...hmm lemme see (since election?) ok ok exaggeration - for 10 days now. Before I continue lemme just point out a few things:

1. No. I do not live in a cave with blind fish.
1. Yes I know there are more important things than TV, don't remind me
2. If I needed your opinion on TV, i'd give it to you. AHEM! thanks.

Now I call customer service to vent Na roho safi by the way and the dude tells me that other customers in my area are not complaining so there might be somthing wrong with the in-house connections. Logically I request that they send someone to check it out coz after all,

1. It is! their equipment, I pay a fee each month to 'rent' it
2. I have not been known to have built a satelite dish, or a receiver for that matter
3. Only DirecTV technicians have the technical capabilities to fix DirecTV equipment.
4. Last time I climbed a tree to fix the dish, a dude called cops on me.

Yeah! It's costing me $70.00.Bollocks I say! Oh the sheer audacity! How darest they! attempt to shaft a true miro like this? It's on to cable bila feelings!