Thursday, March 17, 2005

Lunch Theatrics!

Lunch time at the office can present seemingly difficult transitional moments from humdrum mornings to bleak afternoons. I tell you the consortium congregates at the kitchen microwave, which I have complained endlessly that 2 microwaves for 150 people is just plain indecent, insulting and irrational. And if the one of them breaks down, well get used to chewing your lunch cold. I know anyone who works in an office building knows about those microwaves.Some folks have this knack for boiling weeds and insects, add spices and claim to have had a meal. “Is that your broiled broccoli and sautéed onions?” one asks, “no it’s 'General Chao’s mix’ with a little curry, noodles and baked kaorifrower (cauliflower)” the shorter one with a heavy accent replies. To me it smells like something died two months ago and was fried. I tell them wake up and smell the friggin coffee gad-danit!. Each weekday I contemplate on introducing them to beef, pork, chicken or something, to break the monotony of that other nig nog they chew.

I usually make sure I wait atleast 10 minutes after these good folk have left the kitchen area mostly due to the smell they leave around that vicinity having heated their (ahem!) food. I microwave my ugali, mokimo, irio or chaps.Mostly leftovers from the attempted cooking I performed the night before. I think I’ll make a great chef once I get my own digoloz but that’s down the road. Soon after I’m done, get my can of soda and head back to my desk indulge myself in what the blogsphere has to offer.This is the part that irritates me: Now while digging into my ugali and what we like to think as sukumawiki a curious old dude passes by, smells the food approaches. “What’s that?” he ask sheepishly and without hesitation continue to answer himself, “shepherd’s pie?”

Ok...Shepherd’s pie? For crying out loud!

This is a dilemma for a miro. Should I say yes? And send him on his merry way? I mean, how many times can a falaa explain what ugali is? Ebu try explaining what mokimo is to a junguu and you get the idea. So I say

“Yes! It’s shepherd’s pie”,

“It looks different, did you make it?”

“No someone else did”

“You know I usually put….”

So the dude continues on and on about how he makes shepherd’s pie. I Couldn’t care less but I’m somehow inclined to listen, or fake attention maybe think about how crooked his nose is, or those tobacco stained teeth or the slur in his speech..(“sssshhhhheepherdssshh pie is ssshooo..ssshhhwweeet..”)
Somewhere in between my daydream he’s done and on his merry way. I figure someone on the other end has something that smells out the ordinary. Can’t I just have my ugali and eat it? In peace?


At 6:41 AM, Blogger Guessaurus said...

Magaidi, we have one of those microwaves in my office, but fortunately we share it among 6 people. I also cook/carry my own lunch and sometimes, out of the goodness of my heart, have made chapos which elicit the
Q: Are those pancakes?
A: No, they are chapatis.
Q: U mean Indian Rotis?
A: No these are not the Indian ones you get with your curry.
Q: How do you make them?
A: [Explanation]
Q: Ok, they are pancakes then?
A: (Insert what you can say when you've given up)

Also, I have made mandazis and its unanimous that they are Yorkshire pudding.

Yes, I have given up, together with bringing stuff for other people.

At 1:10 PM, Blogger Magaidi said...

I hear you G on that one. It's almost scary to take lunch to the office nowadays.

At 6:32 PM, Blogger Sam Oendo said...

He he he he. Ha ha ha. Ati Shepherd's Pie! Howl!
I'm sorry but I can't even begin to comment rationally.

At 12:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:50 PM, Blogger Magaidi said...

'Anonymous'- no pun intended although I will take into account your observations and due diligence will be accorded on my next article. Thanks for stopping by though.

At 7:07 PM, Blogger akiey said...

The "Shepherd's Pie" made me laugh my senses away, veeerrry funny! People ask all sorts of weid Qs!
Reminds me of Yahya, my lil' cousin who was born & grew up in the UK & came home every year for a visit to "get in touch with his roots".
Once when he was 8 he walked in folks were having sima/ugali & the boy exclaims 'I want that stiff porridge too!' We laughed so hard the kid ran out of the room.


Post a Comment

<< Home