Conduct Unbecoming and karaoke from hell

Magaidi

Ladies, gents and 'girly men' (pun intended!), the past week and a half will take a long time to fade from my memory. I met some of the most interesting people and some devastatingly boring lads whose names I will keep out of the book for now. After a busy two days of work in Los Angeles, and a ridiculously boring cocktail affair with grown men/women with drinking problems, I had a rather relaxing weekend, flew back and reported to work cursing and kicking - " I should be posted to that other side", I drive to work thinking on a misty and rainy monday morning - it's almost as cold as winter and my tropical senses yearn for the sunny venice beach and the rather scenic huntington beach.

I have been witness to 'karaoke from hell' - a rather drunk colleague decided to partake of karaoke and dancing, "my chance in the spotlight - and aren't we in hollywood?" he shouts in my ear as he sums up enough courage and gestures violently to the host, "here! here!!, I'll be shinging AKons' 'Lonely'". I hope to myself that tic tacs or mints are availble in plenty supply, or his mere breath will rekindle memories of garbage bins for some unsuspecting femmes. It's almost painful to watch but the lad kicks it off smoothly. If there are any talent scouts they'd have recognized immediately that they’re on the wrong side of California. I rise and head to the back of the room, the blaring sound system and the man shouting at the mic behind the speakers are a bit too much for my ears. I need to play pool or this place will bore me to death.

At this time the fellow with the mic is reaching a crescendo. singing is clearly not his thing but alcohol threw that ‘idea’ out the window. “I have no boodddyyyyy!!!....i’m on my owwnnnnnnn”, - true you are I have to admit, it’s getting emotional now, across the room my boss has this puzzled look on his face, you can almost see him say “is he singing or crying?”. I made a decision a while ago to never to attend work dinners because they’re boring, the conversation is dull, people talk about other people in the office – they might even tell you what other people say about you and simply, I keep my job and personal life separate! These theatrics should make great fodder for conversation by the water cooler in the office next week. My phone rings, its my baby gal, she’s arrived. That’s all I need, I’m out like the trash on a Thursday!

A series of (fortunate) Events

Magaidi
Ok so I haven't updated this here blog for quite a while and I seem to be slacking off a wee bit but with good cheer, charm and vigor - I am back. I haven't been away from the blogosphere though, been venturing here and there reading the new/old interesting and no so interesting stuff, and yes I do comment when I do read. Ever since I got to dispatch the latest series of events in my existence, fortunate or unfortunate, I have been to a cruise, katika'd to the sounds of the ever soulful Sally Oyugi, revisited my old school collection (Nick, M - I told you i'd be back for more), readied myself for a trip to the city of angels, played golf/[slashed grass/dug holes at the golf course], met the beautiful Ciara - yes I did!!, and maybe spent too much time trying to disabuse clueless individuals (one) that there are gentlemen in Kenya. This last task I regret largely because I came to realize later on that we were in the presence of one whimsical lady whose infamous escapades and knack for picking fights were well known to everyone but yours truly - the fella magaidi. No disrespect but if two tsunamis were headed to my coast followed by a hurricane and incessant locust storms for a day, i'd gladly toss this soul bare faced right in their path for all I care but I digress.

So back at the office on Friday, my buddy Jaimie requested that I accompany him to the driving range to shoot. The stupid grin I unleashed would've earned me instant forgiveness if I was repenting sins in the presence of the holy father - so I agreed. We headed to the nearest course and since I was badly lacking in equipment, I used Jaimie's titanium wood to tee off. After missing the ball a coupla times I made what I would term 'solid contact' with something. It wasn't the ball though. No sir - that measly little thing was still right there on the tee. What I had made solid contact with was the ground, and I even dug myself a small hole. Unbeknownst to me, the head of the club had broken off and lay a few feet ahead of me. Conversation approximately two seconds after the incident:

Jaimie: Dude? What are you trying to do, dig a hole?
Magaidi: Yeah I know. I shanked it pretty bad huh? Been working on..
Jaimie: Shanked? You broke the driver dude?
Magaidi: &*??
Jaimie: Don't worry though I have a full warranty on the darn thing. Maybe you should try your iron play first.
Magaidi:Will do buddy! my bad! [thinking maybe I should try to hit the ball first?!!}

Golf, on my priority list has just gone down two places right below washing my car tyres!

In other news...

At last: a cure for alcohol, this should be introduced to Kenyans in Pubs. Tusker mbili with kudzu to go.

Happy Mother's day mom!...and other issues.

Magaidi

Yesterday was a very important day for me and other 'spoilt!' sons and daughters around the world. My mom tells me that her phone kept ringing or beeping the whole day. I had to wish her a happy mother's day! Love you mom. She keeps asking when we'll be travelling home to see her. My sis and I plan something this December - and we'll be surprising her! Show up un-announced!


OK now back to business: I promise not to mention anything about Lucy Kibaki - well atleast not on this blog, I figure anything more I have to say will be overkill, plus i'm hoping we've moved on from that. I have spent some time working on other projects. Sim, of the excellent Swahili Cafe invited me to make a contribution here and there so I've contributed kidogo there. There is also wind that I might be headed to the West Coast, Los Angeles to be exact - Job related though - next week so I needed to plan afew things. My impression of LA, each time I visit is that it's too ghetto (if I may use the term) - and the traffic is enough to drive a sane man completely berserk. Afterward I intend to go chill in Long Beach for two days before heading back East.


I have a few things on my mind amongst them changing the design of this site. Any suggestions will be welcome - i'm actually looking for pointers so call me, e-mail me, send smoke signals, holla however you can - i'm listening!. I'll be addressing those within the month.

A.O.B
Celtics unceremoniously lost in game 7 to Indy. OK - so they wouldn't have gone anywhere because anyone out of the east has to face Shaq and the heat but my disappointment stems from the fact that we missed a golden opportunity to send Reggie Miller unceremoniously off to the sunset! I can't stand that dude!..