Magaidi

Transitions

2006-03-05T15:09:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

Ladies and gentlemen, my blogspot portal has outlived its usefulness. Magaidi.com is now up and running, the transition is almost over except for a few tweaks here and there but I'm still working on it. Please adjust your links accordingly. Thank you. :)

Government System Failure

2006-03-02T08:20:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

Recent highhanded actions by the government have again put our country in very bad light. Still reeling from the effects of the now infamous ‘githongo dossier’ and poor planning that resulted to acute food shortage due to the drought that is still ravaging the country, we have again thrust ourselves back into the limelight for all the wrong reasons. The mere fact that the government can and does initiate, co-ordinate and execute armed raids of printing houses is a despicable act. Even worse, what these attacks prove yet again is an inherent weakness in the system. The judiciary exists to provide checks and balances within the three government bodies i.e the Executive, Legislature and the Judiciary, with its role to interpret and uphold the law notwithstanding. Since we can safely assume that no one will be held accountable for the government’s actions, and that we will keep on walking and smiling knowing full well that an armed policeman, on ‘orders from above’ can and probably will stop, search and arrest you once in your lifetime, we hold our judiciary system just as accountable for these failures as we do the executive. Ours is a cowardly and toothless judiciary giant at the whims of a belligerent, corrupt and ill-motivated government. The myopic and utterly senseless decision taken to raid the media house is likely to cause even more ‘political damage’ than the alleged story said to have been the last straw that broke the [camel’s] governments collective back. What it also does is further pit a wary public eye against its government. The common mwananchi now not only sees the government as corrupt, but also as a totalitarian authority that condones terrorism as long as it is sanctioned by the powers that be.

*As I post this piece details are still emerging as to who sanctioned this universally idiotic move, details subject to change*

Press Freedom: Letter to Kibaki

2006-03-02T07:24:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

Dear President Kibaki,

On March 2, 2006 armed police raided the headquarters and printing plant of the East African Standard Group. In addition to destroying equipment including the printing presses and burning newspapers, they shut down the Kenya Television Network television station.

This latest attack follows the jailing of three journalists from the East African Standard newspaper, attacks on the Citizen Weekly, and ongoing harassment of journalists by government-sponsored forces.

I urge you to:

Condemn these attacks in the strongest terms possible.
Dismiss any member of your government who played a role in the attacks.
Live up to your promise to support freedom of the press.

Please copy and paste this on your blog following in Keguro's footsteps. Alterations may be made to suit your need. Thanks and big up mental and afro.

*We will not, should not and never will be cowed by gun totting, mask-wearing thugs sponsored by the government. This is in itself an act of terrorism, state sponsored no less! Washindwe!*

Afraid To Be Great

2006-02-27T06:30:00.000-08:00

Mr Magaidi

I will not be afraid to be great, I will
Seek to find
Truths that bind
To leave behind
Ignorance of mind
Like a spell unwind
And speak my mind
I will not be afraid to be great.

I will not be afraid to be great, I will
Seek to dispose
Curtail and expose
Dispel and disclose
Generalizations that impose
Conclusions that boast
Unfairly of course
Write dispositions and discourse
That Ignorance is so close
I will not be afraid to be great.

I will not be afraid of greatness, I will
Go forth in life with dedication
Draw from life such inspiration
Bless other life with appreciation
Reflect on this life in meditation
Give in life with love and affection
Pursue my life’s joy with a passion
Dedicate to life all my attention
I will not be afraid of greatness.

Magaidi

KBW Meetup

2006-02-21T14:31:00.000-08:00

Mr Magaidi

I made someone’s weekend by simply walking up to them and telling them how I think they add ‘value’ to the team. I’m amazed how simple words can have a profound effect on people.(just thought I'd share but I digress)

We seem to be leaning towards Memorial Day, Dallas TX for the anticipated KBW meet up. Just so you know, this will be on the weekend of the 28th – 29th of May with Monday the 30th being the actual holiday.

Is this a go or does someone have another suggestion?

Rugby in LA - The Recap

2006-02-14T09:04:00.000-08:00

Mr. Magaidi

The sea of red black green and white at the Home Depot center in Los Angeles was a sight to behold. Kenyans from all walks of life, all corners of the continental United States flocked to cheer their underdog team against rugby powerhouses gathered for the USA Sevens. In addition to this, we were treated to a fun filled weekend. I met distinguished personalities from the KBW ring, anonymity was a priority, and if you’re sharp enough, you might just tell who they were but it ain’t coming from me. It was a great pleasure though. Most classy moment of the whole tournament for me was after Kenya beat USA to win the Shield Title (26-12), Kenyan fans acknowledged the USA team with as much vigor as they did their own team. For revelers we had a range of choices on where we wanted to ‘row de boat’, one was ‘pon de river’ literally as Nameless and Bamboo entertained folk at the world renowned ‘Queen Mary’ ship while others enjoyed music by Kenya’s top disc jockeys DJ Adrian, DJ Babu, DJ Pinye at other venues. Additionally Code Red DJ Stylez, Chicago’s DJ Top Donn and Dallas’ own DJ XP among many other excellent turn table-ists. Kleptomaniax, Mercy Myra and others also performed.

Overall:

It was great to see country men & women come out and cheer on their team. Of even more significance is the fact that no incidents of violence were seen/reported. Generally the crowd was reserved, much better, camaraderie was evidenced all over the place. Intermingling freely with statesmen/women from other regions including Tonga, Fiji, New Zealand, Australia, England and other places. The distinct feeling was general: you didn’t have to be a rugby fan to enjoy your time there. I had very interesting conversations with KBW members and the we all came out feeling that we should definitely arrange a meet up and discuss issues we consider affect us. Hopefully we will all be able to make some time in the near future with more time to make arrangements. Suggestions as usual are welcome (the earlier the better, at this moment I have my eye on memorial weekend).

The Kenyan Git-Mo

2006-02-10T13:39:00.000-08:00

Magaidi
Our Country Kenya is conveniently located on the Eastern seaboard of Africa. Mombasa, our coastal city is endowed with riches money can't buy, a historical background comparable to the best and a string of islands whose beauty appeals to celebrities worldwide as popular destination areas. We have it all at the coast, including some Islands conveniently offshore such as Watamu and Lamu. I propose we build our Git-Mo there. Cessation of these two Islands, have the government freeze Kamlesh Pattni's account and use those funds to build a prison akin Guantanamo bay, maximum security, twenty-five, yes twenty-five hour lockdown. We need one, since corrupt entities in government conveniently cry out for the blanket rule of law, "innocent until proven guilty" to provide for their freedom as they conveniently await their cronies to set up inquiries to investigate them for 14! years! The Kenyan Git-Mo should be in such state that it makes Kamiti look like a carribean Island. Known terrorists should request transfers to the real git-mo when informed that they might end up there. I want Murungi to be ringing the bell there and talking about "going slow" in his corner, I need Saitoti to have the corner cell, I've even gone as far as volunteering Moody Awori - a champion for prison facilities improvement - for and 'all expenses paid' vacation there. Kenya Git-Mo, by virtue of being off the defined Kenyan borders, will not be under jurisdiction of the Kenyan courts. Let Murungaru ponder over the 'scandal that never was' while enjoying excellent cuisine on offer there. I am sick of people talking about 'recommendations' and 'investigations'. We know these people are corrupt, they're on tape. You'd have to be unbelievably challenged if your idea of innocence pertains to these characters. Let Kenya Git-Mo be their remand before being 'extradited' upon completion of the "inquiry" or "investigation". Time served here will be deducted from the time you get after conviction. We need a Kenyan Git-Mo. That's my rant!

Now off to LA!

To LA!! Kenya eh? Kenya aaahhh!!

2006-02-09T19:46:00.000-08:00

Mr. Magaidi

I'm headed to Los Angeles for the IRB sevens tournament and gallivanting with my people from the Northeast, Baby Girl and hopefully meet up with some KBW members. Hit me up! Whis..ebu holla! Get with Afro or myself. As for the rest, I can't promise pics, but I'll do my best!

Eloya eeh eeh?

Kenya eeh?

Kenya aaahh!!

Nilienda huko...

Gender Sensitivity & Education

2006-02-06T13:12:00.000-08:00

Mr.Magaidi

I made a comment this weekend to a friend after a discussion on gender sensitivity that left her quite upset. I told her that as long as society views women’s problems as just that - ‘women’s problems’ and not society’s problems as an extension, then all these ‘women’s caucuses’, ‘maendeleo ya wanawake’, ‘educating the girl child’ initiatives championed by women would continue to lag in the back burner of society’s ‘hot stove’. I went on to explain that such causes had a delicate balance and needed a well-calculated approach, which I honestly don’t think we have. My bone of contention was the fact that all these societies are run exclusively by women, for women. I explained that it even seemed hypocritical to advocate for ‘gender equality’ while sitting on a board whose membership comprises exactly 12 women.

Her retort: No one understands women’s problems better than women themselves.

Am I missing something here?

A Healthy Debate

2006-02-01T11:31:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

It’s been a year plus since I joined KBW and I’ve watched it grow from a 13 member family to what it is today. On my daily rounds I have noticed that we have sort of a tendency to be afraid to disagree maybe? That is the best way I can put it. We have ‘independent minds’, we have ‘clans people’ we have ‘ drifters’ and even more categories of bloggers – ‘Financial Analysts’, ‘Entertainment Experts’, ‘Political Blogs’, we have them all, excellent blogs by the way. If we are so different, then why are we so afraid to disagree? Why suffer in silence, appear to be ‘in synch’ with the crowd only to fit in? This is something I’ll never understand.

This is an observation I’ve had in the past and came to realize fully on Thinker’s piece on having a cake and eating it – everyone agreed and danced around the bush until one voice lamented, an emphatic NO! that sent the piece to ‘KBW Hall of Fame’ if we have one. I think we need to stop ‘pussy footing’ and agree to disagree. Nothing against those who just want to tow the line and belong in a ‘clique’. If we intend to have healthy debate (and civil for that matter), we have to come out of our collective cocoons and say exactly what we have on our minds. Otherwise as Ben Carson aptly put it: “If two people agree all the time, it has been my opinion that one of these people is probably not needed”

Rugby On The Table.

2006-01-25T12:23:00.000-08:00

Mr Magaidi

From the comments on my 'Ex' dilemma question (which I thank you all), I'll be digging deeper to verify my findings and drop subtle hints. I'd hate for her to find out that I knew and didn't tell her inasmuch as I'd hate to be the one to break the news that sinks her relationship, she does have a rather deep affinity for the dude. The guy even bought her a lifetime friendship ring which she wears daily religiously. Maybe I should tell one of her friends to check it out and break the news to her. Either way someone gets hurt. This sux!

Sweet memories of high-school days in Changez Rugby will undoubtedly be revisited when our Kenyan sevens' team graces Los Angeles on February 9-12. I am so there. Rugby is a nonexistent sport in this country, even weak ass lacrosse has more clout than it. The Rugby world cup was offered on Pay Per View in select localities within the country, I had to go to a friends house to order it ($25 it cost me) to watch the England/Australia affair in the wee hours of one cold Sunday morning. This is the closest I'll get to live action in a while and I'd better take advantage of it! Damn I miss Safari Sevens!

Kenya eeeehhh? Kenya aaahhhh!

The Ex - The Question

2006-01-19T11:24:00.000-08:00

Mr Magaidi ("KT"-now I am told):

What to do about Ex's? This question dogs relationships the world around. I have a particularly (and uncharacteristically) tight relationship with my ex, which initially was a problem for baby girl. I don't blame her and never did even back then. On my trip back to Kenya a few years back, she was all nerves wondering what would happen between us (my ex and I) since our break up had been mutual. I tell you this because I frankly didn't know - I knew what I wasn't going to do though.

We've moved on since. I spoke to her this past December. She hooked up with some other dude and they've been together for some years, the guy is now in Seattle, WA and they're still together. My situation is a unique one. A friend visiting from that area told me the dude has another chic here. My Ex sms'd me, she has no idea and asked me whether if I knew I'd tell her: What to do?

A whole new Me

2006-01-16T10:17:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

For the first time I have set goals (not resolutions) but goals which I think are realistic enough for me to achieve this year. These include:

1. Continue to pursue further my education
2. Realize my potential in other areas such as mentoring and helping others on similar career path as I am or aspiring to join me.
3. Communicate more with old man and old lady
4. Be a better partner all round with baby girl.
5. Being better organized.
6. Be more open minded.

I actually wrote them down, to be revisited every quarter and updated on progress. Besides that, my creative juices are flowing. Progress towards #2 already!! I accompanied a very talented buddy to a recording studio recently - let me just say I have a whole new level of respect for Nameless et al.

Happy Holidays & Thank You's

2005-12-22T08:44:00.000-08:00

Mr. Magaidi

I just happen to be in an extremely giving mood for this Christmas. First of all let me just thank each and every KBW member who passes by this here work station and spends kidogo time. I won't claim comments fuel post on this spot, rather an indiscriminate drive to blurt out whatever I want in the name of free speech but I digress. Happy holidays ladies and gentlemen.

Secondly It's been an eventful year. From the humble begginings of the KBW family to now the giant it seems to be evolving into. I intend to update among other things, links and the entire design of this site. Any pointers would be greatly and I do mean greatly appreciated.

For those who will be sending me gifts I do accept:

1. Cash
2. Spiderman Underwear
3. More Cash
4. Gift certificates.
5. Tastefully colored fantastic four underwear

To add to my merriment, C..C..C..Code red DJ Styles will be around next week and I have to catch some of that fun.

Syriana

2005-12-12T14:11:00.000-08:00

The movie Syriana was a disappointment. I do credit them though, in trying to address the harsh realities that have become the tug of war in the oil rich regions and the powerful states looking to line their pockets with cash in exchange for a certain degree of access and rights in distribution of this natural resource. For the first time in a long time, I actually observed people walk out of a theatre midway through a movie. This, perhaps an indicator of the inconsistencies within the movie’s plotlines or interwoven storylines within the movie creating, for lack of a better description a spaghetti weave of storyline upon storyline. What, one might ask midway through, Matt Damon’s character in this movie, a partner at a Swedish investment firm, has in relation to Clooney’s character, a CIA agent with a history in the middle east who runs covert operations for his superiors in Washington? The answer is right at the end but the plot takes too long to unfold and has too many characters with significant roles to play within the plotlines. I’m hoping Spielberg’s ‘Munich’ slated to premier December 23rd does not have the same inconsistencies within it. Initial reviews have lavished nothing but praise on this movie some heralding it as relevant enough to address the underlying issues and interesting enough to keep movie goers glued to their seats for the entire time.

Excuses

2005-12-07T13:59:00.000-08:00

It snowed today. Half an inch and we had voicemail encouraging us to stay home if driving conditions seemed less than appealing. Obviously they don't have my type there when such decisions are made. I make people work just after attending their relatives' funerals or having surgery. Usually the conversation goes like:

Ring ring!
Magaidi: This is Magaidi
Dude: Magaidi, Dude here, man I popped my shoulder
Magaidi: Me too, so what time will you be here?

I'm sick of folks calling in with flimsy excuses. Oh referendum, oh earthquake, ooh bomb blast, ooh I ate a twelve pound turkey. I once had a guy call me because his aunt's distant cousin's dad died. Turns out he'd gone for a job interview. I knew one of the folks he interviewed with. He wasn't hired because he arrived late for the interview. What a loser! If you tell such unimaginative lies, you're probably too dumb to sit upright on a chair without falling off.

AOB:
Kibaki announced his new look cabinet today. No Raila, Kalonzo, Nyong'o and crew. Even Mwangi Kiunjuri declined to take the post he was offered. You know you're bad when even dipsh**(excuse my french) like Kiunjuri don't want to work for you. Can't wait to make my rounds of the blogs to see what the people say!

Happy Thanksgiving Yee y'all

2005-11-22T19:03:00.000-08:00

I'm giving thanks this week with family and friends flying in from the two corners of our dimension. Turkey are living in fear this week, human beings have gone crazy. Talk of bird flu is minimal. I hear the Kenyan community around is organizing a big get together. A 'celebrity priest' will be in attendance and everybody and their mother will be in attendance. Jack Daniels will be drowned, beer will be drunk like there is no tomorrow, strangers will make out, ugly people will meet other ugly folk and it will be a big happy family. Happy happy y'all....happy thanksgiving.

LIfe's little lessons

2005-11-10T08:51:00.000-08:00

I'm back, well atleast for the moment. Relocation isn't easy, suddenly I have to know where the nearest post office is, the shops, the schools, my neighbors (which I particularly don't care for) - just keep your little vermin off my yard, candy will be outside the door for trick or treaters and my mailbox is uncomfortably close to yours but that's no cue for you to begin retarded conversations about 'the war', 'the weather', 'your dog' or 'your wife'. I do like your truck though we should talk about it.

With my luck, I was back on the west coast again and each time I get there i'm more convinced of how horrible Los Angeles is. I hate corporate lunches, even more with my boss around. Each time we go out for lunch with a client, I wonder how I ended up here. I'm just a humble kid from Buru Buru, born and raised, an ex-changerian with vision of a life vastly different from this. Ask me where I thought I'd have been five years ago and the answer would be radically different. I know nothing of baked cod, I couldn't care less for fillet mignon or fried calamari.

Corporate lunches are nothing but pretentious exchanges between the 'have's'(bloodsucking corporate America) and the'have-mores'-(bloodthirsty rich folk). It's like a tradition, everybody orders either water or ice tea. I have a sudden inclination to order a grand marnier on the rocks since the firm is paying but I have a tingly feeling it won't go down well on my report so I stick to water. After the salad it's all down hill, never order ribs - again I suppress instinct -, remember, the small spoon is for soup, no hands on the table, the small fork to serve the salad, the big one to eat, no need to request re-fills (unless service is not good), they'll do it for you. If I had a choice i'd be back at the office doing something more constructive and having a sandwich for lunch.

Gosh! It feels good to be back!

New Beggining

2005-10-03T14:42:00.000-07:00

Magaidi
I have just completed a cross-country move that takes me from my cozy confines of a beautiful new england city to the hot weather down south. Needless to say, I could not pass on the opportunity. If you've ever moved, cross-town, interstate or trans-Atlantic, you know the hassles of moving. I am currently mirred in one but my enthusiasm seems to have had a funny effect on me. No more snow, ridiculously cold winters, impossible tolls and that other madness that comes with living in the north east.

3

2005-09-13T09:12:00.000-07:00

I'll be back soon as I sort through the mountain of email/ loads of work and countless work issues as a result of being in and out of the office rather often over the last three weeks. I did manage to catch 'March of the penguins' which was unusually interesting. My new all time favorite movie is 'Hunt for Red October' only coz I watched it again [3 times actually]. 3 junior bankers quit while I was out, that says something about the firm. The other 3 left look like they might be out. Clearly this is not work for the faint hearted. You get to do what everyone else passes down to you. It sux! I hear emails are being sent left right and center trying to curb the sudden outflow. A rival firm seems to be poaching our staff aggressively. That's my three cents. Be back in 3 days.

Entertainment Round Up

2005-08-29T13:43:00.000-07:00

Magaidi

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"The only difference between me and you is that you arrived on a ship and I flew in"

A Kenyan and an African American at a just concluded Symposium on African Studies.

Maendeleo:

Those of us amid the diaspora within the continental United States are getting ready to celebrate labor day weekend upcoming in a matter of days.

Someone in DC decided to offer free food to Africans. DJ Ammo and Banti of Baltimore invite you to stuff your fat face with chicken, mnazi, vitunguu and nuts at multiple bbqs. Capital FM's DJ Adrian will be on the ones and twos and Mr. Nice will entertain revellers 'fagilia-ing' mpaka che.

The impressive DJ Babu and DJ Fully Focus, the duo representing the 'Take Over Deejays' (T.O.D), [dont ask!] will be entertaining folk at the Safari DC alternatively. Entertain your brain to smooth afro sounds and African Street beats and your taste buds to an African menu. Entertainment brought to you courtesy of Kaka Productions.

Club Queens in Atlanta will be hosting party people all night with a DJ Fly and DJ Graz. Apparently ladies will be free b4 midnight so the people too cheap to pay for a trip to Washington and those just broke - no pun intended - will be there.

Houston folks will be 'katikaing kinyama' to the sounds of DJ Kabugi,DJ Yusuf and DJ Steve Nice. In addition there will be rugby action and soccer at Memorial park, 6501 Memorial Drive prior to clubbing.For more info on this visit 2Kat .

Boston people will be enjoying their 'labor of love' & drinking weekend at the Pekking Toms courtesy of DJs Sam and Leroy(formerly of The Carnivore-Nairobi). For more info visit this site hapa.

Hopefully after-effects of hurricane Katrina won't ruin your events but I request thee...please do not drink and drive. Be safe. Be Courteous.

Back with no vengeance

2005-08-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

[SIDENOTE]Semeni ladies and gents- Nimerudi. Actually, back at the office this morning trying to catch up. Had a fabulous time with my old man and my bro which I'll be tabling pretty soon. I also have pics to boot - not too many though so wipe that drool off thy face, my camera played tricks on me.
[/SIDENOTE]

Came across this interesting letter this morning i'd like to share with you all. Some have probably seen it but what the heck?

Check this out,

White women's opinion of black women & a brother's
response. Please take a moment and read this. Pretty
Deep! Thumbs up to this black man..
It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine
by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!

Enjoy

Dear Jamie:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about our relationship.

My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.

Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes.

I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us
Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks,Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...

I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA

RESPONSE

Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted
White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.

I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black
men dated white women was because they were considered easy.

The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait,
brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.

Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears,and overall weaknesses,
have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, BlairUnderwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white
women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.

I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!

It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.

It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them:
being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power,love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates
and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have
fallen in love with black women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to
darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and
dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?

I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that
can be a good wife and mother to my children.

Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given.

Signed, Black Royalty

Quality time with the folks

2005-08-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

Magaidi
Magaidi Sr., small bro and 'tha nephew' arrived yesterday from Kenya. Its always good to see these great folk. I love my family My dad (Magaidi sr.) always dresses for the 'occasion' - had his sunday best on in this blistering New England heat. I quickly suggest that he sheds the coat and the 'sombrero'. Well ok - maybe just the coat. Small bro looks like he's on parole. His girl has been sending me text messages I suspect from the time he flew out of Nairobi - 'ask the dude to text me when he gets there' is the gist of the message she's been sending. I oblige. Budding Love...soon they'll find out how difficult long distance relationships are. I couldn't do it, seen too many of them head south soon after the dude gets acquainted with other femmes on the other side of the globe. Soon they both realize - we're not married, we have no kids - oh - and is it really love or infatuation?...
'Tha Nephew' is a running nuclear energy plant. He seems to have taken it easier than all of them. No culture shock for this boy - no sir. He is quite at home, no shirt on, running around the place. I'm sure the next few weeks are going to be interesting. Sit back and unwind, with the old man. Can't wait! We head to NYC next week.

Maintaining a decent balance

2005-08-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

Magaidi

Ladies ladies ladies...i'm calling you all out. Yes we know it's summer, the skimpy outfits are out, the thongs are out, the bikinis are out but for the love of me, please stay away from the aforementioned attire if you have body hair of any kind, folicles protruding in excess of an inch from thy well lotioned and sometimes tanned skin. I urge you please please please...kiroho safi lakini.

Last weekend the fella magaidi got a phone call around 2015 zulu from baby girl - it was ladies night out and I had been offered the very rare invitation. My first instinct is to say thanks but no thanks, but I have nothing else to do so I reluctantly oblige. The first spot we hit is an upscale lounge in downtown - problem is, they're playing latino music. One bouncer, whose dimensions were errily similar to a fortress advised of another club more to our inclination so we trot on. At the door are fine looking women, I mean jamaaz - eye candy for you right there. These women were fine, did I mention fine? Ok fine.!

We hit the club, I hate clubbing nowadays - I don't dance as well as I used to but that's OK - I don't need to. I'm not there to impress, plus i'm the one with 6 chics. Guyz-eat your hearts out! So there we go, head bobbing, bottled water in hand and the situation is getting tricky - people are wading 'pon de river, pon de bank' and 'signalling the plane', i'm at the DJ booth with DJ Ron when two chics approach and begin bumpin and grindin. I kid you not!..We get down but alas one of the chics - the one precisely cutting corners and 'rowing de boat' with as much vigor as a world class kayaker slips and falls on the ground.

I urge all human beings - male,female or otherwise - memo to you: Please don't fall on the dancefloor. It's worse when you fall and your friends are helping you get up. It's a pathetic sight. That means not only did you not fall - you fell so badly your friends have to help you get up?

Ofcourse I distort the story - the situation curved out to be that I was holding fort as tight as I could even chics were falling on the floor. They couldn't handle me but do I say? Let them believe what they want.

Torments From High School days

2005-07-27T09:39:00.000-07:00

Magaidi
Tuned in to capital fm this morning to listen to ‘The Drive’ and inevitably stumbled into a discussion on the ‘monolization/rabblization/hazing’ e.t.c in high school. I’m sure most of us went through the same thing. My first day in high school was a challenge of sorts. Of course my old man, prompt as he is dropped me off at mid-day. I was one of the first dudes to arrive and have since been questioned by some whether my intention was to arrive early enough to make lunch on that day. My answers typically leave no doubts as to what I think of their mental abilities, lineage and their childhood including their backgrounds and where they were born. I remember on the first night two dudes were locked in a locker and told to sing each time coins were dropped in akin a juke box. Horror and amusement at the same time, I couldn’t help but laugh and be scared at the same time. Another episode involved a dude who was told to bleat each time he was called. It’s all funny when you look back at it but it wasn’t when you went through it. A buddy of mine, let’s call him Will, was waxing lyrical on a chic during a function when the on-duty teacher, who’d been herding people back for 5 O’clock roll call, got pissed and whacked him infront of the chic! That was as comical as it got. You can imagine a dude trying to impress a chic and along comes this instructor with a kane and proceeds to administer 'corporal punishment' on this poor soul. Reverberations were heard across the hall!. I know worse things have happened. Dudes being told to go fetch ‘darkness’ in a bucket, others were told to push 10 cent coins along a 100 yard corridor with their noses, others were being sent to buy 2 loaves, 5 biscuits and chewing gum with a kshs. 20 note and being told to bring change. I did have my moments – was once told to sing lullabies to grown men outside their cubes (which by the way killed any ambitions I had of being a singer), once woken up at 3 in the morning and told to dance like I was at a club. None though funnier than a guy on his way back to the dorm after buying bread at the cafe decided he couldn’t wait to eat it so he started chewing on his way back. He met a senior cop and was admonished for his ‘shao-ness’ – his punishment was to dig a hole right where he was since he had energy now after chewing the bread. The hole still stands, I hear, to this day!.

A Kenyan on Kenyans

2005-07-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

Magaidi
I wholeheartedly support the idea of supporting (wha?)my fellow Kenyans/Africans. Afterall, if we don't look out for each other, who will? Indeed, I have found myself a nice shop where I can run to for good ol' milo, roiko,softa,blueband,close up, cussons na virago vingine vya bei nafuu. Hata yale maharagwe twayaita 'Njahi' katika lugha ya kikwetu nitayapata pale pale. Nikipata yule anayeweza kuyatengeneza vile yafaa basi mimi huyo, na kikapu changu nijijazie vile vile! Juzi pia nilimnunulia baba mdogo Tusker - lakini ole wake! Alipoiweka mdomoni hivi akawa kama ambaye amelipukiwa na bomu.

"son what is that?"
"Tusker"
"son..that is no Tusker. I have been drinking tusker since time immemorial. That is no tusker. Don't buy it again!"
"Safi"

Kenya breweries, if you're listening, someone's selling fermented urine in brown tusker bottles in the states.

I came across a Kenyan daily. Though fuzzy on the actual name, I think it went along the lines of 'The Kenyan Advancement Newspaper'. Fair enough. There were advertisements about Kenyan realtors, curios, lawyers, freight companies - I mean any Kenyan with a business was on it. I think this is a fabulous idea and I endorse it. The writing was abit mediocre, situations were overly dramatized (ahem!) - adjectives were spewn like sandwiches on local flights, not too badly though to kill the reading. I think they need an infusion of imagination into their stories but still what? still good. My problem with this paper was the caption that read:

"This newspaper is free: However we charge $15 for shipping and delivery"

Wacha mchezo bana. This is a 10 page paper, i'm paying $15 for shipping? Are you smoking maize cobs or something? There's the spirit of cooperation, helping a brutha/sista out, then there's stupidity.

Monday Morning Breakfast.

2005-07-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Magaidi
Its a Monday. I think i'm usually more tired on Mondays than I am on Fridays but I had a great weekend. This lifestyle we live. We have a tradition here at our office that each Monday one of us brings breakfast in for the rest of the team. Its my turn today..I forgot. In my defense, last week's dude brought it in on Tuesday. I actually remembered on my way to work but I was running late. My boss remembers when i'm late regardless of whether I was bringing in breakfast for the rest of the crew or if I was fishing and noticed a blind kid drowning and I had to save him and won an award but I digress. That's the other culture here at work. Last week's breakfast dude brought in bagels with cream cheese - no coffee, no ice water, no orange juice, nothing! You have to wonder if he eats dry bagels for breakfast in which case I pity him. The lovely mother-figure lady had a buffet the monday before. I make sure my turn is not after her's - I can't live up to that. People have more questions about why breakfast isn't available today than they have regarding daily work.That's why we get 'alot' done here.Frankly this is one tradition I can live without. I rarely eat breakfast and by the looks of some of them, they might need to skip a meal a day.

Recent Events.

2005-07-10T15:47:00.000-07:00

Magaidi
It's been a rather eventful week past. My heart goes out again to the families and victims of terrorist attacks not only in London but also the continued insurgency in Iraq, soldiers in the line of fire and the countless people who each day put their lives on line so that the rest may enjoy some form of freedom. A lady asked me what i think about the global 'war on terror' - My thought is simple, we can never really eliminate terrorism, we can however minimize it's impact such that people no longer live in fear of terrorist attacks. Such that it doesn't significantly affect the way we go about our lives on a daily basis. How we go about this war is altogether questionable, I mean how can there be a 'war on terror' - debatable as this phrase has become - can we really fight an ideology with bullets and bombs? I mean, how many resources are being put to enlighten the world that Islam and terrorism are not synonyms? Up until the other day our the prototype 'serial killer' was a white male aged between 25 and 40 before the 'DC Sniper' was discovered to be black middle aged man with his son. What is terror? My dictionary tells me it is intense overpowering fear. Don't bank robbers and car jackers use this same terror as a means to an end? Aren't they also 'terrorists'? This I say not for the sake of debate...think about it, people still live seemingly normal lives in the face of all this 'terror'. If and when we ever get to this point, the 'war on terror' will have achieved some sort of success.

Why Me?

2005-07-04T16:11:00.000-07:00

Magaidi

Somehow someway, I'm supposed to apologise for staying indoors all weekend long, as if I need to be everywhere, everyone else is. Whatever happened to staying at home and catching a flick? I mean, 'Hitch' was overrated and 'Alfie' was surprisingly good but you don't hear me calling you on your cell phone complaining why you haven't watched these movies? I do think Jude Law makes too many movies to be interesting but I don't send you an email at the office conveying that message. This sudden altruism is in my opinion senseless garbage. I got wind of word that a buddy of mine got divorced. Although this is a somewhat sad tale, next time i'll keep my opinions to myself. I received piercing looks when I claimed that 'you had to be blind if you didn't see it coming'. It's true. The chic was a shrow, the fella had a bad temper. Their wedding was nice, love was in the air. Love is overrated!

Today is the 4th of July.Independence day. Independence is a relative term. Independence from what? Independent Women, what independence? Just baloney if you asked me. Pyromania is rampant, firefighters are logging in overtime. A dude set himself on fire lighting firecrackers for last years show, this year the city issued an ordinance and broadcasted it on local channels and sent residents mail relentlessly. NO PERSONAL FIREWORKS DISPLAY. I think people watch the show to get stuff to talk about at work the next day.

"So where d'you watch the fireworks at?",
"My backyard - my wife was with me and my children loved it!"
"You?"
"on TV"

That kills the conversation. It's actually interesting to watch the reactions, I hate fireworks.

Conversations

2005-06-29T13:38:00.000-07:00

Magaidi
[Sidenote]: Mos Def was nominated for best actor at the B.E.T awards. Yet they want us to take them seriously! Even my neighbor's fish knew Jamie Foxx would take it.[End Sidenote]

A junior banker on my team came over to my desk last Thursday and told me she was planning on calling in sick the next day because she'd made plans to go to Florida. We have a strict vacation policy where I work, and the fact that everyone wants to take days off during summer to walk their cat, feed their racoon, grease their elbows and do wierd things all at the same time doesn't help. It's my duty and obligation to report abuses of the system here but I didn't partly because, well let's face it, I have called in sick while at the airport headed to Dallas for some gallivanting with Lady M and also, I like that she's bold enough to approach me. That means my 'open door policy' is working, maybe abit too well but nonetheless it's working.

Back at the office on Monday she approaches me again. She looks like a mess, has barely slept all weekend and if I'm not wrong, that's the same outfit she had on Thursday! She broke up with her boyfriend. Maybe this 'open door policy' is working abit too well for me. Ok OK..so they broke up, aparrently there was a big brouhaha in Florida and the boyfriend took his stuff and left her stranded at the hotel. She got back at 1 AM Sunday night. She's all teary. That's a sad tale and if I cared i'd have sent her home but there are two other people out. I know your heart is broken and you look like you've drunk a barrel of Jack Daniels and you've had an emotional weekend but there's work to be done. I don't make the work up, just so happens its there, so do it nagging migraines, heartache and all.

I hate it when people share their lovelife stories with me in the office. I couldn't care less. I know my Karaoke bud is going through a divorce and the dead beat couldn't care less, actually I think I care more than he does. I don't need to hear about how many kids you and your insipid duck-faced boyfie intend to have, I need to attend to client matters..and blog about it. By your looks, the less of you we have in this world the better if you asked me!

Hi!-atus!

2005-06-28T07:42:00.000-07:00

Magaidi

It's easy to explain why i've been lost for a while. I've been posting to the wrong blog! all this time.

For those who care, I have updated my personal profile to give a little bit more information about myself.

Here, nights are muggy and the hot temperatures keep me indoors all day. It's funny how during winter we long for the hot weather for outdoor activities and when it gets here it's so bad, i'd rather be indoors all day! I'm outside today and at first it's not as bad as I thought. There is a guest DJ from out of town, never heard of the dude but the park is full of people, the loud blaring music grips your attention as soon as you hit the small dirt road up towards the gazebo.Its a reggae song, Morgan Heritage's 'No Hafi dread' I think. I'm puzzled at all the new faces I see in the area. Usually, one can tell the new ones but if you don't know the veterans, it's hard to know who's new. It's not so hard though, the fake accents usually give it away first for the new ones, if your 'bufu's' or 'fifa's' or 'roebeks' don't catch an eye first. I remember a coupla summers ago I met this young chic who'd just flown in from home at a house party upstate.

Me: Hi I'm Magaidi
Her: I'm nay-o-meee
Me: Nice to meet you Naomi.
Her: 'Preasure's' all mine.

Such conversations don't usually last long. Reminds me of a former schoolmate I met while at a new years party during the millenium turn. The guy looked like he'd been digging a hole all night long. A few pleasantries exchanged and I find out he's just flown in. The flight he boarded left Nairobi for Dubai, Dubai for Amsterdam, Amsterdam for Heathrow, Heathrow for New York, New York for Atlanta. He took a 45 minute bus ride from the airport to his destination. This dude had been through a bunch of time zones, flown a million miles and still had the energy to party! Suddenly I feel old.

Conduct Unbecoming and karaoke from hell

2005-05-24T12:58:00.000-07:00

Magaidi

Ladies, gents and 'girly men' (pun intended!), the past week and a half will take a long time to fade from my memory. I met some of the most interesting people and some devastatingly boring lads whose names I will keep out of the book for now. After a busy two days of work in Los Angeles, and a ridiculously boring cocktail affair with grown men/women with drinking problems, I had a rather relaxing weekend, flew back and reported to work cursing and kicking - " I should be posted to that other side", I drive to work thinking on a misty and rainy monday morning - it's almost as cold as winter and my tropical senses yearn for the sunny venice beach and the rather scenic huntington beach.

I have been witness to 'karaoke from hell' - a rather drunk colleague decided to partake of karaoke and dancing, "my chance in the spotlight - and aren't we in hollywood?" he shouts in my ear as he sums up enough courage and gestures violently to the host, "here! here!!, I'll be shinging AKons' 'Lonely'". I hope to myself that tic tacs or mints are availble in plenty supply, or his mere breath will rekindle memories of garbage bins for some unsuspecting femmes. It's almost painful to watch but the lad kicks it off smoothly. If there are any talent scouts they'd have recognized immediately that they’re on the wrong side of California. I rise and head to the back of the room, the blaring sound system and the man shouting at the mic behind the speakers are a bit too much for my ears. I need to play pool or this place will bore me to death.

At this time the fellow with the mic is reaching a crescendo. singing is clearly not his thing but alcohol threw that ‘idea’ out the window. “I have no boodddyyyyy!!!....i’m on my owwnnnnnnn”, - true you are I have to admit, it’s getting emotional now, across the room my boss has this puzzled look on his face, you can almost see him say “is he singing or crying?”. I made a decision a while ago to never to attend work dinners because they’re boring, the conversation is dull, people talk about other people in the office – they might even tell you what other people say about you and simply, I keep my job and personal life separate! These theatrics should make great fodder for conversation by the water cooler in the office next week. My phone rings, its my baby gal, she’s arrived. That’s all I need, I’m out like the trash on a Thursday!

A series of (fortunate) Events

2005-05-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

Magaidi
Ok so I haven't updated this here blog for quite a while and I seem to be slacking off a wee bit but with good cheer, charm and vigor - I am back. I haven't been away from the blogosphere though, been venturing here and there reading the new/old interesting and no so interesting stuff, and yes I do comment when I do read. Ever since I got to dispatch the latest series of events in my existence, fortunate or unfortunate, I have been to a cruise, katika'd to the sounds of the ever soulful Sally Oyugi, revisited my old school collection (Nick, M - I told you i'd be back for more), readied myself for a trip to the city of angels, played golf/[slashed grass/dug holes at the golf course], met the beautiful Ciara - yes I did!!, and maybe spent too much time trying to disabuse clueless individuals (one) that there are gentlemen in Kenya. This last task I regret largely because I came to realize later on that we were in the presence of one whimsical lady whose infamous escapades and knack for picking fights were well known to everyone but yours truly - the fella magaidi. No disrespect but if two tsunamis were headed to my coast followed by a hurricane and incessant locust storms for a day, i'd gladly toss this soul bare faced right in their path for all I care but I digress.

So back at the office on Friday, my buddy Jaimie requested that I accompany him to the driving range to shoot. The stupid grin I unleashed would've earned me instant forgiveness if I was repenting sins in the presence of the holy father - so I agreed. We headed to the nearest course and since I was badly lacking in equipment, I used Jaimie's titanium wood to tee off. After missing the ball a coupla times I made what I would term 'solid contact' with something. It wasn't the ball though. No sir - that measly little thing was still right there on the tee. What I had made solid contact with was the ground, and I even dug myself a small hole. Unbeknownst to me, the head of the club had broken off and lay a few feet ahead of me. Conversation approximately two seconds after the incident:

Jaimie: Dude? What are you trying to do, dig a hole?
Magaidi: Yeah I know. I shanked it pretty bad huh? Been working on..
Jaimie: Shanked? You broke the driver dude?
Magaidi: &*??
Jaimie: Don't worry though I have a full warranty on the darn thing. Maybe you should try your iron play first.
Magaidi:Will do buddy! my bad! [thinking maybe I should try to hit the ball first?!!}

Golf, on my priority list has just gone down two places right below washing my car tyres!

In other news...

At last: a cure for alcohol, this should be introduced to Kenyans in Pubs. Tusker mbili with kudzu to go.

Happy Mother's day mom!...and other issues.

2005-05-09T19:17:00.000-07:00

Magaidi

Yesterday was a very important day for me and other 'spoilt!' sons and daughters around the world. My mom tells me that her phone kept ringing or beeping the whole day. I had to wish her a happy mother's day! Love you mom. She keeps asking when we'll be travelling home to see her. My sis and I plan something this December - and we'll be surprising her! Show up un-announced!

OK now back to business: I promise not to mention anything about Lucy Kibaki - well atleast not on this blog, I figure anything more I have to say will be overkill, plus i'm hoping we've moved on from that. I have spent some time working on other projects. Sim, of the excellent Swahili Cafe invited me to make a contribution here and there so I've contributed kidogo there. There is also wind that I might be headed to the West Coast, Los Angeles to be exact - Job related though - next week so I needed to plan afew things. My impression of LA, each time I visit is that it's too ghetto (if I may use the term) - and the traffic is enough to drive a sane man completely berserk. Afterward I intend to go chill in Long Beach for two days before heading back East.

I have a few things on my mind amongst them changing the design of this site. Any suggestions will be welcome - i'm actually looking for pointers so call me, e-mail me, send smoke signals, holla however you can - i'm listening!. I'll be addressing those within the month.

A.O.B
Celtics unceremoniously lost in game 7 to Indy. OK - so they wouldn't have gone anywhere because anyone out of the east has to face Shaq and the heat but my disappointment stems from the fact that we missed a golden opportunity to send Reggie Miller unceremoniously off to the sunset! I can't stand that dude!..

How we behave.

2005-04-28T10:41:00.000-07:00

Time magaizine has a really interesting article on how humans behave in the worst of times. I can't really say I have been in such a situation although I remember as a kid, heading back from Molo with my dad, our car tyre blew and the car careened off the road making rapid acquaintances with an accacia tree. In the ensuing commotion my relatives had recited a couple of hail mary's, our father's, one called on the good lord, another one spoke in a tongue I can bet any professor in linguistics wouldn't figure. I have since heard various versions of the story, none more elaborate than the six-step breakdown from my uncle who also claimed that he'd seen a woman by the roadside holding a kid.(it's my understanding that Molo line drivers have encountered such "incidences")- but I just think its all hot air. I'm not superstitious at all and here's the math.

1.Car hits pothole = Car tyre busts + careens off the road/hits accacia tree = people speak*act funny.(duh!)

However, I do question how i'd react if I was in such a situation (9/11, tsunami etc). Back in the day I had an interesting exchange with some makangas next to the Kenya Railways station having just alighted from a 111 from ngong. A dude in our contingent had dared that should they even 'darest thou thinkest' to touch him, the clique would descend upon them with fury hell hath not seen before. The clique?

1. The fella Magaidi
2. A dude by the name of Gitau.

He must have said something because we managed to walk/run/squat away from the place with heads somehow held high. My actual feeling when this was going on was more of curiosity. The sweat on my brow was only due to the sweltering heat! I think my first instinct would be to go check out what happened and that's probably not a good thing. On the flip side if I scurry away, I barely know what i'm running from or to - One thing I doubt i'd do in such situations is sit and chill.

Song Of the Week.

2005-04-20T14:18:00.000-07:00

From the Transparency International (T.I Kenyan Chapter) B.O.G to one Gladwell Otieno
dedication:

'T.I's - You don't know me.

Caption: "They call me T.I but you don't know me"

Add yours here! ------------------------------------>

Marathon Monday

2005-04-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

Magaidi
Today I intend to proudly put on my 'Kenya - Hatucheki na watu' t-shirt and head on to town for the marathon. Its the only day miros gather around adorned in Kenyan regalia be it t-shirts, flags, bandanas,vests and since it's almost a given that a Kenyan will win the race (Yeah I know we're spoilt beyond words) unless Bong Ju Lee comes out of nowhere and takes it, we intend to belt out the national anthem in the streets of downtown Boston. I was astounded at how badly we mixed up the tunes and the words last year. We had fellows singing the same verse three times since none of us could remember the words until 'Kila siku tuwe na shukrani'. Thanks to the good fellas at KenyanspaceI am ready to educate the masses.

On the same note:

I hear old man M-O-1 is also in town and they had a dinner organized for fellows to meet the dude, I believe you had to part with $250 for entrance, plus the meal. Bollox I say, it would take a well thought case for me to even part with $2.50 to meet the guy, from what i've seen, I haven't been impressed

Of Affirmative Action

2005-04-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

Magaidi

An acquaintance of mine has taken it upon himself to protect the world from half-roasted peas, light milk shakes, not-so-fresh salads and undercooked veggies. This particular individual sees it as his sole responsibility to inform the uneducated that it is your civil right, ingrained within the framework of affirmative action that if you order a half roasted goat and sukumawiki ‘to go’ then it had better be half-roasted and ready to go. I have observed this individual complain how, after all Malcolm X and Martin Luther King fought for, he still cannot get a decent steak at a local eating house. I cringed when once during dinner he made an awkward analogy comparing the plight of slaves in the slavery era to miniature supporting roles that people of color get in big budget movies. After this i'd have bet my last buck on him blaming the government for him not showering. MLK would have turned in his grave if word of this ever got to him. Please don’t send me email claiming I be-little the causes of ‘affirmative action’ because you’ll be wasting your time. I believe affirmative action should exist but for some reason. There seems to be a disconcerting ‘sense of entitlement’ unfairly attached to the causes that affirmative action should be advocating for. This notwithstanding, I am sure getting a decent steak at the local eatery wasn’t on MLK and other pioneers' minds when they were fighting for equal rights.

When Hits are not so Fresh anymore

2005-04-11T06:41:00.000-07:00

Magaidi
Nairobi's KISS 100FM and its presenters, I have come to believe live their lives 2-months behind everyone else's schedule. Matter of fact, I believe they might be making plans for the valentines show sometime this week. Avid listeners must dress in red and call in to request the freshest new track on the market - sema's 'Leta Wimbo'. In addition, if you and your friends call numerous times we just might be able to get E-Sir's 'Boomba Train' back on the countdown (nairobi's fresh 10). This morning they premiered Kevin Little's hot new track!'Turn Me On'. It will be played countless times and rest assured it will be dubbed Nairobi's hottest new song each time you hear it. Maybe, just maybe Sean Paul's 'Like Glue' might premier sometime next week but rest assured at KISS FM, there is no such thing as an old song. In two months listeners should be keen lest you be fooled by their every funny 'April Fools' prank.

A.O.B

*Ogopa DJs launch Kleptomaniax' new album 'M4E' later this month, I believe April 30th. Personally i've heard a few of the tracks on this album thanks to the ever generous Banda of Ogopa DJs. Sounds tight and I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of this CD!.The Ogopa Website I am made to believe is going live this Friday April 15th so check it out whenever you have a moment.

Mad Props to:

* Ory and global voices for putting us on the map.
* Mental for his unrelenting work ethic to improving the Kenyan Blogosphere. KenyaUnlimited is now up and running.

Magaidi On Both Sides -

2005-04-05T13:24:00.000-07:00

Magaidi

This is the list from which you'll find out whether I eat guacamoli, fart in bed, pee in the shower or terrorize your pets. This is me right here!

1. I'm the consumate free spirit, as long as there's a will, I will find a way!
2. This has at times in the past been seen as an arrogance about myself
3. I usually shrugged it away and continued on..(refer to #2)
4. I get this from my beloved mom..
5. Who is the single greatest person I know in this world
6. Because she rose from humble begginings to the top of the corporate world and still held our family together.
7. She spoils us with her extraordinary cooking abilities
8. Baby gal contends her mom can cook better than mine,
9. I say baby gal needs to go to rehab or should schedule a therapy session soon.
10. Baby gal is the love of my life, we talk every single day about everything!..
11. She loves teddy bears and cats
12. Oddly I have come to love them too..
13. Which is a far stretch from back in the day when I was bila feelings
14. Well, let's just say our resident cat and I engaged in running battles akin the 'shock and awe' attack witnessed on Baghdad
15. It was only fair coz he'd killed (or should I say, intentionally assasinated) my bird (R.I.P 'Spirit')
16. I love animals and pets
17. As long as they require only minimal human supervision
18. So I guess i'll settle for a cat.
19. I maintain a pretty simple lifestyle
20. Not easily dissuaded by fads or trends, I have my style and i'm good with it.
21. I love music - period.
22. My big bro was a DJ and so I kind of followed in his footsteps for a while
23. He's played with the best of them from Bryo of vibestar/carnivore, magic myke - vibestar, Morii of Studio B, hussein abdallah,babu..you name it from back in the day
24. I love soul, old school hip hop, neo soul, soft rock!-luv it!,genge,e.t.c..refer to#21.
25. I hate stereotyes/ stereotypical views
26. I also have very little patience for people who use sweeping generalizations - "Kenyan men this Kenyan women that.." nonsense
27. I once attempted to be a vegetarian..
28. Those were the two longest days of my life.
29. I've been told, (on numerous occasions) that I am an excellent cook.( had to mention this!)hehehe
30. This I believe stems from a personality that is very independent. I just do it the way I watched my mom do it (refer to #7)
31. Having said that, I also have the worst eating habits.
32. I can easily eat mokimo for breakfast, cookies for lunch and popcorn for dinner.
33. This drives baby gal crazy, and she's mentioned the habit to my mom who had observed with absolute and sheer amazement as I drank water for breakfast on my way to work a couple of years ago.
34. Breakfast was ready on the table the next day though so I can't compain.
35. I thoroughly enjoy having my friends over.
36. I have friends to die for.
37. They've seen me at my best and worst and are still very close to me.
38. I like to think/ and try always to offer as much to them as they do to me.
39. My love life - I consider a pretty private affair although I will menion tit bits here and there
40. I've only had two serious relationships. - 2 very special ladies in my life
41. We're still in touch with my first love
42. Was caught up in a messy entangled web of lies and deception a few years back, her dude was cheating on her.
43. I knew the dude - dude knew me, we'd been friends.
44. This, my friends is a DIABOLICAL situation, a lose-lose deal
45. Some chics see baby gal and I and ask me about relationships
46. My answer is usually a generic one: if you want the perfect guy, make yourself the perfect chic
47.O.K now hold on right there. I'm not saying i'm the perfect dude by any stretch of your [vivid] imagination, I just try like the next dude.
48. Relationships aren't that complicated if you ask me
49. I think if we can get clear pictures from a rover on planet mars - we can definitely solve issues on relationships
50.This is not being naive..i'm just being me (refer to #1)
51. I'm particularly corny with kids.
52. Our next door neighbors' kid knew that 'my car' could fly.
53. My small bro 'knew for a fact' that I was born in China for a good portion of his life.
54. I am told that my looks are very deceiving and I appear to be very shy.
55. I think people may try to take advantage of my nonaggressive nature
56. I have the best sister in the whole wide world and beyond.
57. At a tender age, she has reached astounding levels in her career and is the most down to earth person you'll ever meet.
58. She claims I inspire her but she knows it's the other way around.
59. I'm also inspired by self-made people. You don't have to be rich, just an independent thinker, confident in his/her ways. - case in point: My mom.(refer again to #6)
60. I love reading, but mainly biographies, real events and life stories.
61. Truth be told though, if there's a movie about a book, i'd rather watch it.
62. I know I know, I miss out a lot but it's the gist I look for.
63. Back in high school ('Changez' - Lenana School), I suffered a horrific accident while playing rugby.
64. I'd gone down to tackle a dude when a guy behind him also came flying and landed squarely on my nose, broke it. I also suffered a dislocated jaw.
65. Was out of school for an extended period of time but came back in time to make the Prescott Final team - yeah I'm crazy I know.
66. Winning that thing was sweetness akin to [this part left blank because content would've been inappropriate for our younger readers]. - you get the message.
67. I'm not shy.(refer to #49) disregard this at your own peril.
68. When I shamelessly laughed while watching Titanic at the site of a dude, barrelling to his demise who made rapid acquaintances with a post jutting out on the stern, babygal and the people around us gave me looks of disbelief and utter resentment like I had chewed their popcorn.
69. I was informed after the movie that I needed to (and I quote verbatum), "re-examine what it is that you find amusing because you obviously have a warped sense of humor"
70. I find myself in these situations alot.
71. My best movie of all time is 'The Godfather', but I must admin 'Ghosts Of Kilimanjaro' made quite an impact on me.
72. It was after all, the first movie I ever watched and understood comprehensively.
73. Others on my top 10 list include 'Matrix-revolution', 'Shrek1 &2', 'Good Fellas','A Bronx Tale','Training day'..among others.
74. I shamelessly enjoy cartoons and Nickelodeon - the kids channel.
75. I have had some of the worst blunders known to mankind during dates when I was younger.
76. I once truthfully lost my wallet after getting to a movie theatre with a chic, needless to say she paid for my ticket and my fare back,
77. There wasn't a second date.
78. I have also been caught napping on a movie date - I blame the exhaustion and boring movie(City Of Angels by Nicholas Cage and Meg Ryan) the chic had chosen, she blamed me.
79. This time there was a second date, only that she brought her friend incase I slept during the movie.
80. I went for the third date with her friend, she turned out to be my first serious relationship!.
81. How's that for a turn of events?
82. I have also attempted the unthinkable, - wax lyrical on three chics who were cube-mates in school without them knowing about it.
83. Chics are bright, they figured it out and countered by asking me out on a date on the same! day on different letters ofcourse.- they knew it and pretended as if they didn't!
84. I countered back - declined all three invitations, sighting an out of town engagement I had had prior to this. I requested that we defer the issue until schools had been closed.
85. They checked back 'dissappointed', I ended up with three dates on a back-to back to back schedule, they sent me a letter together claiming that I had been busted.
86. We remain good friends still though and have a chuckle each time we reminisce about this.
87. 13 more to go.
88. My favorite drink is a mixture of orange juice (the real orange juice) and coke/pepsi/cola.
89. Favorite color is a dark shade of brown. (I kid you not!)
90. I'm a sucker for cookies.
91. My ideal day off would be spending the whole day watching TNT - Law and Order with milk and cookies next to me.
92. I have attempted to play golf on numerous occasions.
93. Tiger Woods/Phil Mickelson et al can rest easy wherever they are.
94. The fact that I was an alter boy back in the day is very amusing to my friends.
95. I don't spend as much time as I should at the church.
96. My personal opinion on religion is that there is God and then there is religion.
97. I try to steer away from arguments on religion being that they never resolve anything.
98. I respect those people who respect themselves.
99. I am the quintessential jumpy dude always high on energy.
100. I love who I am and what i've become - a product of my family's efforts.
101. I'm the consumate kid raised by the village.
102. And I try to give back as much as I can.
103. I love my family, friends and my people to death.
104. This is me.

What to do:

2005-04-04T15:19:00.000-07:00

Magaidi
Yep! I'm back from DC and still breathing fresh like a squirrel! I katika'd boomba style to the rhythmic sounds of old school played by the ever impressive DJ Babu (Formerly of homeboyz and F2). I have a feeling a photo of me breaking sweat, streaking and sliding on the dancefloor will definitely surface somewhere on the net. If that happens rest assured I will not confirm your suspicions. Our host, K, can make you laugh your eyeballs off - i'll be sharing this with you shortly.

What to do now?

1. Stop procrastinating and complete Meme on me! 100+things about the fella 'Magaidi'
2. Stop procrastinating on stopping to procrastinate!
2. Call those people I met in DC.
3. Catch up on the latest gossip.
4. Gossip about the latest gossip.
5. Translate this blog to another language. I'm always looking to reach a wider audience and present my material in english, senegalese, ki-dholuo, Polish,khoisan, tutu-(ish?) or (tutish?)LOL! and sheng. . Applications with photos attached duly welcome. No x-rays tafadhalini.

DC Trip? A Bust!

2005-03-29T09:53:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

So I left this here joint on Friday and shamelessly advertised my pending exploits and tour of Washington DC with the usual rigor, charm (or so I'm told) and excitement of a five year old with the prospects of a lollypop sometime in the near future. See now this is the problem

When you live in a huge geographical region like I do, the subtleties of small country and driving vs. flying debates are not issues to be handled lightly. Anything over 7 hours drive east west or otherwise is an automatic fly-zone for me. Granted, we arrived at the rental office pretty much on time having completed a reservation on-line. Anticipation building, we were all smiles until the clerk informed that on top of the $300 charge for the rental we needed to part with an additional $200 for surchages and other fees. I say heck!... buy me a one way ticket on the concord for that price. Needless to say, the trip has been postponed to next weekend. Baby gal took it well: I was devastated!

Yes! These situations are never planned for so the next day, you find yourself doing such curious tasks as:

1. Liquefying the extra tomatoes in your fridge just so they don't go bad.
2. Grating garlic for future use.
3. Shredding huge onions to a pulp in your blender to marinate a chicken.
4. Shredding receipts from gas stations inadvertently in your blender with the onions.

All in all, baby gal and I had a great meal. Afterwards I cut my toe nails and drunk a bottle of cheap indian beer: 'Taj Mahal'. " My frrrriend, it's the best of India you should trrrrry it" sanjay, the only propietor of an indian store on main street had told me last week when I popped in to get some of the best mango juice their is south of the north pole, his wife seconded it. It's like drinking sweetened sisal juice if you ask me.

I will also be tabling a list of 100+ things about me. It's still in the works thanks to G,Ms. K, MJY, Nick and M among many others.

In this I wish to quell the following rumors that have been spreading around:

1. I have not once ever!eaten a whole chicken by myself
2. I don't value my blender more than baby gal!..This just ain't true.

DC Or Bust

2005-03-25T12:12:00.000-08:00

Magaidi
I'll be heading on to DC with baby gal over easter fest. Looking forward to some warm weather, nice music from the likes of DJ Amo and Banti and a generally great time. Can't wait to chew on Nyamchom at club Safari too . Wishing you all a happy and safe easter! DO NOT! drink and drive (or drink too much anywayz!) -

Almost Lost

2005-03-22T07:26:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

I was sifting through my CD collection last night and came across some very interesting music I had almost forgotten about. The likes of 'Trisha Covington', remember 'After 7', 'Colin England', 'Shai', 'Montel Jordan', 'D'Atra Hicks', 'Peabo Bryson', 'Prince'that song 'dial my heart' Almost makes the nonsense that is now hip hop sound obsolete with all due respect to Dr. Dre and his cronies. This journey captures you, an unrelenting grip on your senses and continues on. I blow the dust off an 'Adriana Evans' CD and recapture old neo-soul sounds. Seeing as this album had been released in '97 she was definitely ahead of her time. Continue on to grab that blue shiny Maxwell'UrbanCD. I still contend that got to get to know you is one of his best songs with the album notwithstanding. I also come accross an old 7-inch Pointer sisters LP. It belonged to my mom back in the day when she used to swing and sway to the soulful sounds of Earth, Wind and Fire's let's groove tonight A Gap Bands' - greatest hit's LP alongside, don't even get me going. My cell phone rings rudely interrupting my journey into the vast abysses of timeless music - it's baby girl calling to say g'night.I acknowledge and realize that it's time to hit the sack, but I am yet to go through half the collection. There's time I say - pop that 'Sade' Cd and drift slowly into oblivion..

Lunch Theatrics!

2005-03-17T11:40:00.000-08:00

Magaidi
Lunch time at the office can present seemingly difficult transitional moments from humdrum mornings to bleak afternoons. I tell you the consortium congregates at the kitchen microwave, which I have complained endlessly that 2 microwaves for 150 people is just plain indecent, insulting and irrational. And if the one of them breaks down, well get used to chewing your lunch cold. I know anyone who works in an office building knows about those microwaves.Some folks have this knack for boiling weeds and insects, add spices and claim to have had a meal. “Is that your broiled broccoli and sautéed onions?” one asks, “no it’s 'General Chao’s mix’ with a little curry, noodles and baked kaorifrower (cauliflower)” the shorter one with a heavy accent replies. To me it smells like something died two months ago and was fried. I tell them wake up and smell the friggin coffee gad-danit!. Each weekday I contemplate on introducing them to beef, pork, chicken or something, to break the monotony of that other nig nog they chew.

I usually make sure I wait atleast 10 minutes after these good folk have left the kitchen area mostly due to the smell they leave around that vicinity having heated their (ahem!) food. I microwave my ugali, mokimo, irio or chaps.Mostly leftovers from the attempted cooking I performed the night before. I think I’ll make a great chef once I get my own digoloz but that’s down the road. Soon after I’m done, get my can of soda and head back to my desk indulge myself in what the blogsphere has to offer.This is the part that irritates me: Now while digging into my ugali and what we like to think as sukumawiki a curious old dude passes by, smells the food approaches. “What’s that?” he ask sheepishly and without hesitation continue to answer himself, “shepherd’s pie?”

Ok...Shepherd’s pie? For crying out loud!

This is a dilemma for a miro. Should I say yes? And send him on his merry way? I mean, how many times can a falaa explain what ugali is? Ebu try explaining what mokimo is to a junguu and you get the idea. So I say

“Yes! It’s shepherd’s pie”,

“It looks different, did you make it?”

“No someone else did”

“You know I usually put….”

So the dude continues on and on about how he makes shepherd’s pie. I Couldn’t care less but I’m somehow inclined to listen, or fake attention maybe think about how crooked his nose is, or those tobacco stained teeth or the slur in his speech..(“sssshhhhheepherdssshh pie is ssshooo..ssshhhwweeet..”)
Somewhere in between my daydream he’s done and on his merry way. I figure someone on the other end has something that smells out the ordinary. Can’t I just have my ugali and eat it? In peace?

DISCLAIMER ON THE OFFICE FRIDGE

2005-03-15T14:23:00.000-08:00

NOTICE TO ALL USERS
Please remove all food items from the
refridgerators by the end of the day Friday.
In order for this fridge to be kept clean we will ensure that no food is left within on weekends. All items not removed by Friday will be thrown out.
(and this now added by a bored soul on the office block)
- or eaten by Scott.

E-Sir Remembered

2005-03-15T07:01:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

Here's to remembering E-Sir who passed away this day two years ago. We miss you big tyme. He was actually our neighbor at home, lived right across us.Never met a more down to earth celeb and to this day his 'Leo Ni Leo' remains the Kenyan joint of all time - well atleast for me.

Kon-Fyu-Shon!

2005-03-14T14:08:00.000-08:00

Magaidi
I indulge myself in the intricacies of my being, my parody that I call an existence and it's quite funny I tell you.

*My favorite drink is a mixture of orange juice and pepsi. - no your eyes are fine ..you read right..a mixture of pepsi/coke/cola and orange juiceand i'm not talking those chemicals we used to drink back home akina ribena (which by the way I still thinking is a really good drink.

*My favorite color is brown, a dark shade of brown although I'm a bit torn between that and red.

* If I like a song, I can listen to it for hours on end. I mean re-wind and re-wind till I make sure i'm bored with it. Otherwise i'll wear out that repeat button on the cd player. Case in point is that song by Jua Cali -'Nakuroga', just can't get enough of it. It's hot!!!

Other Businesses

East African concert in Atlanta later this month should provide spectacular and also unspectacular insights into talent in the diaspora. I remember when Nameless was around, a Kenyan crowd was being entertained by some rap artists in Boston, I tell you these folk showed no mercy and no love at all!..It had to have had something to do with the fact that these jamaaz were running around stage waxing lyrical about 'wack emcees' and 'mamanzi' which have been used with such frequency as if we're at an end for words. If I was a rapper my moniker would be Wack Emcee. Look on the bright side, no one has high expectations, everyone mentions you in their songs and it's always easier when you've already declared you're wack.

I have also noticed that the word Kenyanese is being used with alarming regularity to replace the oft used 'Genge'.Aiii kweli this is plain retarded now.

SEMA
Mwewe is a really nice album. These people can sing! Can't wait for them to tour.

MJ Blog Meme

2005-03-08T06:09:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

Ok Nick, here goes the MJ Meme blog. Caution though, in my opinion we will never truly know the veritable Jackson, I don't think he will ever truly find his true self. I think his definition is in his music. Having said that...here goes.

1.Best RnB song?
Have you seen my childhood
Heal the world (classic)!
One more chance
You are not alone

2.Best pop song?
Thriller! Without a doubt – that was just too original!
Bad
Smooth criminal!
Who is it
Billie jean
In the Closet..should I go on?

3.Best Rock song?
Black Or White.

4.Best Album?
Thirller
Dangerous

5.Best Dance Video?
Remember the time video with Eddy Murphy, Magic Johnson..etc..that was goood!
MTV Music awards live performance – 93!! (best ever!! Live performance by an artist. period)

6.underrated album?
Off the wall.. (no one talks about this album anymore and it had hits like Rock with you, Don’t stop till you get enough).

7.underrated collabo?
bila ideas on this one.

8.Overrated collabo?
The one with small sis. That song is overplayed and it ain’t issh!

9.Best sound
-tttrrrrraaaaa cha cha cha…x3 (In..’Do you remember the time’)

10.what about MJ u'll never forget?
Moonwalking bana..that was too smooth
Dude made women scream till they faint..wtf?(couldn’t understand the hysteria when I was a kiddo)

11.Do u think he is guilty or innocent?
Innocent. I think that prosecutor is just trying to make a name for himself.

12. did u like him better black? black-white? white?
Tell you the truth, I never really cared! The lad could’ve been purple but I’d still katika to his music.

13.his song that u cant stand?
Butterflies feat. Eve.

14.if he was to come perform in a stadium near you-would you

a) lie that u would not attend?
b) attend?
c) only attend cause u were forced to

Are you kidding me? I’d be on time like Rev. Njoka at a city council prayer meeting!! Or Martha Karua at a father WaMugunda late night meeting

15. do u think MJ is a freak or misunderstood? do u believe him in "have u seen my childhood?"
I think he’s a misunderstood freak!..People that good at what they do aren’t normal anyway.

16.are those kids fruits of his occassionally grabbed loins?

No.

Satelite - Unspectacular! - Do not be fooled.

2005-03-02T10:41:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

These DirecTV people are working on my last nerve! There's nothing spectacular about Satelite TV, nothing! I tell ya good folks!zero! zilch! nada!I happen to live in a neighborhood akin to minsk, that has plenty snow, rain, cold weather, humidity...you know? The whole Wandimi Muchemi forecast. All I have to say is that when it snows, let's just say the only TV you'll be watching is in your imagination, better stock up on DVDs, VHS, Music and all that makes your bored self merry again. Needless to say a relentless barrage of snow, freezing rain (yeah..it's like melting ice raining), rain and snowstorms has hit my neighborhood digoloz so I haven't had a signal in like ...hmm lemme see (since election?) ok ok exaggeration - for 10 days now. Before I continue lemme just point out a few things:

1. No. I do not live in a cave with blind fish.
1. Yes I know there are more important things than TV, don't remind me
2. If I needed your opinion on TV, i'd give it to you. AHEM! thanks.

Now I call customer service to vent Na roho safi by the way and the dude tells me that other customers in my area are not complaining so there might be somthing wrong with the in-house connections. Logically I request that they send someone to check it out coz after all,

1. It is! their equipment, I pay a fee each month to 'rent' it
2. I have not been known to have built a satelite dish, or a receiver for that matter
3. Only DirecTV technicians have the technical capabilities to fix DirecTV equipment.
4. Last time I climbed a tree to fix the dish, a dude called cops on me.

Yeah! It's costing me $70.00.Bollocks I say! Oh the sheer audacity! How darest they! attempt to shaft a true miro like this? It's on to cable bila feelings!

My Undoing

2005-02-25T12:48:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

Ok ok...i'm in a diabolical situation. I forgot!..yes, I did forget![shoot me] Lady M's birthday and when I politely, humbly and may I add prayerfully! requested to be reminded I was promptly turned down!

..so I wonder how can she be upset the next time I forget it because she isn't willing to tell me?

See..these are the kinds of secrets that just kill a relationship!!!

the Kenyan Music Videos

2005-02-24T13:28:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

Maybe it's hard for you jamaaz home to understand how difficult it is for us in the diaspora to get our hands on some Kenyan music videos. I got my hands on a handful this past weekend and I can assure you,..a synopsis of how I spenty my time:

*sometimes crossed over bare-chested laughing! at some who claimed they were "the only choice for Kenyan ladies" - I'm pretty convinced that this dude(s) should invest heavily in a mask(s) of choice before saying that to a camera/ well a live camera with any remote possibility of recording.

*other times straight down disgusted at some trying oh so lawdy hard! to bling. I mean, i've always been of the school of thought that if you can't do it as well as Diddy..please don't? It's pretty hard to floss with a blue Toyota celica..used in other videos by the way. Longombas beware ye!

*Few other times impressed by the quality of the work from Nameless' Juju, Sema's Leta Wimbo, JuaCali's and PiliPili's 'Kamata Dem..'

*Several Other moments, spent wondering what on Gods green earth! the directors of the videos had in mind..I'm talking about that 'Fever' video by Habib and Manga. I tell you ladies and gentlemen, a pretty good song, the video was the definition of garbage!..I man what was that ?!&%#$!@@#(!)! - As in [Worthless or nonsensical matter; rubbish: used in a sentence: Their advice turned out to be nothing but garbage]

*Many a Moments!* marvelling at the ease with which anyone not named Saddam Hussein could get their videos to Nation and they are actually shown. I mean, sons and daughters of Gikuyu and Mumbi took shots on camcoders, home movies...I wonder!

*All the time - with a sheepish grin on my face, at the unspectacular display of talent/or its lack thereof. I mean E-sir, K-South,Nameless, Nonini, Juacali...we do have an A-List talentwise and these lads are singularly on it. On the other hand..the rest? AAaaoooooooowiiiii!

The Joint

2005-02-22T07:32:00.000-08:00

After a brief hiatus, the kid is back in full swing, juices still flowing and among other things a sense of wonder and amazement at how adept we have become at celebrating nonesense!..presidents day? Do we reaallyy..realllyy need this? Anywayz as long as it's there i'm enjoying it. Had a question for you jamaaz though. Had a stint with some really creative dudes this weekend called Studio Entertainment. What would be your ideal name for a joint, if you opened one up yourself? Or..what is the most interesting name you've come accross -y'know for a joint? C'mon people!!!...I need answers.

Kenyan Blogs - MEME

2005-02-16T13:52:00.000-08:00

Magaidi

Favourite Kenyan food:

•Mokimo
•Risaiko (just walk in to Elijah ‘Kasindeeh’ Onyango’s joint on Wood Road in Industrial area. They’ll know what you’re talking about.
•Tell you the truth ‘ Napenda zote – nyama ya n’gombe, ugali, kachumbari ili watu wasikonde’ (K-South)

Favourite Kenyan drink:

•Ice Cold Pilsner Ice.

Favourite Kenyan TV programme:

•Ngoja Most memorable kwanza is that section after KBC news back in the day - Weather with Wandimi Muchemi. Dude rumored to have claimed “Tomorrow there will be no weather!”
•Plot 10 was a blockbuster at digoloz

Top Three Four Kenyan hang outs:

•Mamba both Nai and Coast.
•I have no shame declaring that ka-old school joint SJ’s opposite F2 as one of a favorite. Cheap beer, and proximity to F back in my hanging days.
•Florida Casino, if its still open. (don’t know)
•Carnivore- Rock Night.

Top Kenyan holiday destination

•If I had to choose then Coasto – esp. Malindi
Kisum-city! And Nyeri come a close tie for second.

3 Kenyan phrases you use a lot (ati, nini, nani DO NOT count and neither does bilaz!)

Open the tap –•Direct translation for ‘Fungulia maji’ – turn the tap on and let the water flow.
•Jamaa!! Or Weh Chief?...Calling out a dude.
•Sema bana? Namna gani?... Saying hi, how are you?

Three Four things about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go 'hmmm'

•Jealousy bug in the diaspora is a killer! No cohesion at all
•Hunger for materialistic gains. Dude drives a 3 series BMW but the ride is parked outside his jobo place 24-7 coz he can’t afford to take time off due to car payments, hiyo! Si maendeleo!
•Mental disease that having a ‘white’ girl is being special or something. Gimme my African-womano (no pun intended to white chics, and those who have white/yellow/pink/green or purple chics by the way).
•Raging malcontents - Nuff Said!

Three things non-Kenyans say about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go 'hmmm'

•Is Kenya a town or a city? (I kid you not!)
•Tell them you’re from Kenya and they’re like; ‘is that close to Nigeria or Sudan?’ Uhmmm… Do I insult your mother?
•I watched Surivor Africa and loved it. (Ok thanks for sharing that!)

Three things about Kenya/Kenyans which non-Kenyans ought to know.

•Shrubbing is not an accent! – Jamaa says ‘ALELO’..instead of’ ‘Alero’: Junguu retorts.., “I like your accent”
•It’s not all a forest with villages. We do have cars and planes, buses and taxis
•Not all Kenyans run gad-danit!
(Oh and one more…Kenya joining the war on terror has absolutely no consequence whether you win or not!) we’re just there to be seen so don’t pin your hopes too high.

Complete this sentence: I am Kenyan because...i'm sometimes bila feelings. (case in point - I laughed at some dude barreling down the rudder to his demise in Titanic when the thing tanked)After surviving in Kenya, I can definitely survive a plane crash!

And finally list 3 members of the Kenyan Blog Ring you would like to see complete this quiz.

mental
Itina Rasa (this chuckles me all the time
Nehanda

Of Confrontations, Dialogue and Travels!!

2005-02-16T07:55:00.000-08:00

Magaidi
I must admit i'm a sucker for action..I mean you know fracas and whatever. My initial instinct when the dude ahead starts running is to run!follow the fella..ask questions when everyone stops running. I'll let you folks in on a story - happened a couple of years back on my way to Njoro with my mom. We'd been stashed - and I mean literallystashed in a nissan, but I do injustice to other nissans by calling this a car:I'd say more like a hodge podge of metallic sheets strewn together with a wooden interior and 4 tires which by my count may have been re-treaded four times. Fred Flinstones had a better ride. My mom has never been short for words, I mean this woman angemtoa nyoka pangoni. We veer off the road to pick up two unassuming strangers but thats not the problem, the dilemma here was the humongous sack of waruz, vitunguuz, nyanyaz, I suspect several canes of sugar and a metallic milk bucket. A diabolical situation. I assure you if they place this thing on the roof it caves in on us. Condy gestures to my mom to move and create space, my mom questions "where?" - and I understand the woman's question: Maybe by now you may not have the picture clear so lemme elaborate: A trip inside this wreck? You'd have been more comfortable sleeping in those yellow sweepstake boxes all night like we'd done after yet another confrontation with cops outside F2 but that's a whole new issue. The prepostrous suggestion that one of us moves ahead by an inch to create more space was followed by a retort that left no doubt this woman had absolutely ZERO! zilch!Nada! Kaput! respect for the condy's abilities mentally or otherwise. We were ordered to shuka! lakini wapi? I was ordered by the general to sit right where I was. After 'consultations' with the driver, the condy had to give up. It was then realized that similar confrontations had happened with this woman in the past. Confused and embarassed dude went back to his inch of space in next to the door, the rest of the journey went smooth. Couldn't be prouder of my mom though. She's the best!!.

Valentines - romanticized Extortion!

2005-02-14T10:05:00.000-08:00

It's Monday Feb 14th - valentines day, do you know where your wallet is? Remember back in the day when it only cost you stamps money to enjoy your valentines? As in you had this thing for a chic in school so you sent her a letter, asked her to be your valentines a and then you both spent time sending 'sweet nothings' back and forth? Couldn't wait to get mail? Well guess what? That stuff doesn't fly any more, that day is gone son. You've got to have a J.O.B if you wanna 'get with it'.I mean, I have nothing really against valentines and noI have not had bad experiences in the past, well, apart from this one date I went to, had to have the chic pay fare for me going back home because (in the words of George W. Bush) 'I misunderestimated' the cash flow - didn't account for a last minute snack: something about the smell of popcorn at the theatre that hypnotizes me. It's safe to say that chivalry was long dead before I got there...And I don't see it rumbling back roaring any time soon. So back to valentines!

Guess what I did this time around? Well if you insist, and keep prodding into my private affairs and (this part to drive my english teachers crazy) you must know then I, being a poet as it is went back into time and tore off a romantic poem from an old literature book that I had in college, got some chocolates (I'm sure I'm not the first) and some flowers, a lot! Of flowers and a romantic card. Couldn't do the dinner thing coz it fell on a Monday but spent the better part of the weekend with my boo coz when it gets to weekdays our schedules just don't work. This not withstanding I have always maintained that I am not cheap by any stretch of imagination. This celebration of love has become (in my own words now!) 'Romanticized extortion'. Eddie Griffith, comedian extraordinaire once quipped, "What happened to falling in love with a [fellow] with a bus pass" or in our case, a megarider? I speak for those thousands who identify solidly with K-South's 'bado sijapata ndai'I tell you the matriachs have become even more demanding than the IMF. Cash flow crisis is an epidemic. You can say all you want about love and even claim money can't buy me love, whoever believes this adage just doesn't have money - even stamps cash bilaz! MC Lyte reminded us a long time ago - you wanna live lovely you've got to have money in her song '2 seater'. I say save your money this valentines. Instead of fillet mignon and some 'expensive' cheap wine from Marseille, boil some beans, warus and peas - tengeneza some Mokimo and drink a soda on me! This way you can save your cash for other important things such as buying a car, house or schooling yourself to be wiser the second time around. That's my word and I'm sticking to it.

The Indecencies of modern day shopping

2005-01-03T19:48:00.000-08:00

You know i'm so tired of shopping be it groceries, clothes or anything. Last wekend I walked into a large megasize superstore which I won't even bother to name here. A visit to the electronics section yielded numerous curious clues for the African kid:
1. A guy(assuming) who had since shopped in the west wing of the store for shoes got to the electronics section, I assume saw an X-Box video game he liked so much better, decided against the shoes - (good thing he did according to me). The fellow left his shoes where the video game was and I assume again, took the game.

2. An old lady had shopped for groceries in the East Wing...carted over to the electronics section to check out. I can assure you speed was no concern of hers and I accept that!

3. Only half of the check out areas were open, I would think this being around the holiday season would maybe buy them a clue that there'd be more people in the store shopping so to ease the agony of having to stand behing moms with babies, old ladies and old dudes, little criminals with cotton candy all over theirs and my face! and watch the instore clown(which I shamelessly and thoroughly enjoyed by the way!) - maybe open them all?

4. Parking was a problem full circle: geting in, getting a spot, getting out. People drove like pee-wee graduates whose licenses were certificates for excellence:

a. Incompetence in road manouvering
b. Colorful language and hand gestures
c. Shamelessly double parking and un-observance (if indeed there is such a word) of the speed limit

There was nothing festive about shopping there, if at all there was grinch - the owners of this store should be nominated and awarded doubly. That's my word and i'm sticking to it.